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Headless People Terrorizing Cities And Towns Across The Nation!

It is deep into October. The days are short and a long black gloom haunts the night. Eeriness creeps in from the clammy midnight air. It was in October when Washington Irving wrote about Ichabod Crane and the headless horseman. Irving must have looked out his window in the dead October black and got a chill. What was out there?

Have you wondered what happened to the headless horseman? Does he still roam the deserted night roads and haunt the nervous traveler anxious to get home safe from unseen eyes that spy him from the dim woods, and from underneath the bridges?

Surely you do not literally think there is such a creature, do you reader? It is all a fiction, right? I would like to laugh off the story of Ichabod. But why has Irving's tale lasted two hundred years? Do you not feel something there in the dank lightless October still hours? Something, I dread, still roams the lonely roads. The hideous spirit that haunted Ichabod still stalks us. These ghouls have even multiplied! Reader, you might hide under your blanket and wait for the morning light and go about in your bright day. But there is shadow world from which you cannot hide. I have discovered it and I will warn you now so you may protect yourself if that is possible: Thousands, no, not just thousands, but millions of people in our fair country have lost their heads! Beware!

These headless ghouls roam the streets. They haunt the shopping centers. They drive on the highways, they are in workplaces, in factories, in offices and stores. The headless sit on couches in countless homes watching TV! Whoa to you if you so enter these homes! That they would be confined to one deserted path where Ichabod Crane unhappily chanced upon. No! Today it is far more dire. The headless are everywhere! ... Continue reading about the headless ...

New Talking Toilet Offending Users

Toilets Attempt Toilet Humor & Some Aren't Laughing

The Standard American Toilet Company has come out with a new hi-tech talking toilet that is causing a waterfall of controversy. Apparently wise guys in the factory programed the toilets to blurt out insults like; "Whew! Was that a big one!" or, "Whoa, that's a stinker! If toilets could kill themselves I'd do it right now!" Other customers have sat down on the toilets and heard, "Wow! What a fat ass you've got! You're going to break me!"

The Standard American Toilet Company marketed their new hi-tech talking toilet to people who wanted to remind their kids to flush, or to spray some deodorant in the room. For example, if you have the new talking toilet you can program it so your young child could hear, "Now, don't forget to flush!" or a wife could program the toilet to say, "Dear, please put down the seat!"

Toilet experts saw this new toilet industry innovation as a potential boom to ... Continue reading about this toilet humor & 12 more toilet insults ....

New Sport Craze: Pin The Tail On The Donkey With A Live Donkey And A Nail Gun

If the nail tail hits near the tail the..... Continue Reading the tail end of this .....

Zombie Infiltration In America Reaching Epidemic Proportions Due To A New Breed Of Mostly Vegetarian Zombie

--MCT continues its ongoing investigation into zombie infiltration in America

Years ago movies, like Night of The Living Dead, showed what may have been actually based on fact: People in towns across America became brain dead and aimlessly wandered around in search of human flesh to eat. The US military entered these towns and eradicated the zombies. But leading zombie research scientist Dr. Ziegfried Yoddlebucker has unearthed some amazing government documents through the freedom of information act. Dr. Yoddlebucker discovered that in a military budget cost cutting measure and due to public pressure to use less violent methods to deal with conflicts, the US government enacted a program to breed zombies who did not eat human flesh. Somehow these government vegetarian bred zombies interbred with the flesh eating zombies. Within ten years the government was successful in stopping zombie flesh eating rampages. Government records indicate that not one town has been attacked by flesh eating zombies since the 1970's. However, since zombies do not eat human flesh anymore no one took any action to eradicate them. Their numbers multiplied and now they are .... Continue reading about the zombie scourge in America and participate in a zombie poll ....