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Life Smells Sweet For The Man With The World's Biggest Nose

Stephen Montipoopleir of Paris, France has the world's biggest nose. He works in the specialized field of perfume sampling. When perfume factories get batches of lavender or sarcophagus they need smellers to distinguish the good and bad batches. Motipoopleir's nose is not only the biggest but it's one of the best in the industry. Its big size makes for more nerves and olefactorous surface area resulting in a keen sense of smell. Even though perfume sales are down in the worldwide financial crisis, Montipoopleir says he still makes millions of Euros a year. His home is surprisingly modest for such a rich man. Montipoopleir lives in a working class area of Paris. Montipoopleir and a slightly overweight middle aged woman greeted me at the door.

I entered the house and shook Montipoopleir's hand. He indicated the woman and said, “This is my servant. Get us some wine, woman.”

The woman made a scowl and said, “You are not going on with that again? People will just think you're a banana nosed nut case.”

“Is that your wife?” I asked.

“Are you joking? I am surrounded by the most beautiful women in the world. Women half her age. The perfume industry's fashion models. And they all love me. Women love my fame and big .... Continue Reading & get your nose into the rest of the story .....

College Students: You'd Be Better Off Getting Bums Off The Street To Educate You Rather Than Paying Outrageous Tuition

We here at the MCT can't understand why students aren't rioting in the streets over the outrageous tuition costs. Some students are getting smart, quiting college and hiring winos and homeless bums for tutors who offer more bang for the buck. A typical state university like the University of Oregon's tuition is $8190 up from $5900 a few years ago. The University of California at Berkeley is 12,500 bucks up from $6800 4 or 5 years ago. Yale University costs $38,300 a year--up $7000 4 or 5 years ago.

“Screw the high tuition costs,” says University of Washington dropout Jiglebut Hoserwald. “I had to pay a fortune to sit in a lecture hall with 500 other students. I get more personal attention from a wino who is teaching me about physics for a bottle of Thunderbird each lesson.”

Many students told us that they are getting a better education for a much lower cost. “Sure many of these bums are crazy and mentally disturbed,” added Hoserwald, ”but so are many college professors I had and the class sizes ... Continue Reading to educate yourself ....

Life Is Rough For Man Named Ebakaneebervanderspunklemcdooodlefuch Smith

How would you like to go through life when people you have known for years cannot even pronounce or remember your name? That's how it is for Ebakaneebervanderspunklemcdooodlefuch Smith. Ebakaneebervanderspunklemcdooodlefuch Smith says his parents gave him his long unique name because the family has such a common last name and they wanted a first name that would stand out. “It wouldn't be so terrible if I had a less common last name,” said Ebakaneebervanderspunklemcdooodlefuch Smith, “But since there are so many people with the last name Smith, if someone calls me by Smith I won't even look up. Some people try to abbreviate my name, but that doesn't work either because there are so many variations that nothing ever gets my attention. Also, my parents were very formal people, even if they were oddballs, and they were adamant about pronouncing my full name—so I got accustomed to it as a kid without any nicknames. 

“One of my uncles used to call me, 'Ebakaneebervanderfuch' for short. My mother would get pissed off at  .... Continue Reading about what's his name? .... 

We are republishing the following because it fits the Halloween season and explains the headless elections coming up:

A shocking update to Washington Irving's "Headless Horseman!"

Headless People Terrorizing Cities And Towns Across The Nation!

Horsemen do not travel America's roads today, but the headless are more numerous than ever. Beware!

It is deep into October. The days are short and a long black gloom haunts the night. Eeriness creeps in from the clammy midnight air. It was in October when Washington Irving wrote about Ichabod Crane and the headless horseman. Irving must have looked out his window in the dead October black and got a chill. What was out there?

Have you wondered what happened to the headless horseman? Does he still roam the deserted night roads and haunt the nervous traveler anxious to get home safe from unseen eyes that spy him from the dim woods, and from underneath the bridges?

Surely you do not literally think there is such a creature, do you reader? It is all a fiction, right? I would like to laugh off the story of Ichabod. But why has Irving's tale lasted two hundred years? Do you not feel something there in the dank lightless October still hours? Something, I dread, still roams the lonely roads. The hideous spirit that haunted Ichabod still stalks us. These ghouls have even multiplied! Reader, you might hide under your blanket and wait for the morning light and go about in your bright day. But there is shadow world from which you cannot hide. I have discovered it and I will warn you now so you may protect yourself if that is possible: Thousands, no, not just thousands, but millions of people in our fair country have lost their heads! Beware!

These headless ghouls roam the streets. They haunt the shopping centers. They drive on the highways, they are in workplaces, in factories, in offices and stores. The headless sit on couches in countless homes watching TV! Whoa to you if you so enter these homes! That they would be confined to one deserted path where Ichabod Crane unhappily chanced upon. No! Today it is far more dire. The headless are everywhere! ... Continue reading about the headless ...