Disgruntled Factory Worker Puts Super Glue In Condoms
Thousands Of Couples Stuck Together
Elmore McCowski, a disgruntled factory worker in the Sureon condom factory is now under arrest for putting super glue in thousands of packages of condoms in Hoboken, Oregon. Thousands of couples across the nation, who believed the condoms were lubricated, are stuck together and are filling up hospital emergency rooms from coast to coast.
Police and factory investigators have determined that McCowski put gobs of extra-strength super-glue inside and outside the condoms so that once the package was opened and put to use the couples became instantly stuck together. Doctors across the country are having a very difficult time separating the couples. Men who have large organs buried deep inside their partners make it impossible for the doctors to access the fusion. When doctors can get to the area they are having to painfully sever the top layer of skin leaving the men and women with excruciating raw red skin.
Authorities are advising consumers who have purchased Sureon lubricated condoms to put them on a piece of paper after opening. If the condom sticks do not use it. Return any defective condoms to the place of purchase for replacements, unless you need the glue to mend broken stuff.
Condom factory co-worker Seymour Figgerton says McCowski was a loner who didn't talk much, "One time he said, 'Do you realize we assist fornicators to kill holy bodily fluid?'
"I though he just had a weird sense of humor. He also invited me to go to the First Church of Appliantology." .... Continue reading this disgruntled story ....
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Normaly MCT does not cover trendy news items like TV gossip networks and other publications do. We are a serious publication devoted to covering more important topics like 
