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Perverts Molesting Vacuum Cleaners, A Growing Problem For Appliance Stores And Law Enforcement Agencies

A growing problem is terrorizing appliance stores that sell vacuum cleaners and bogging down law enforcement agencies across the country. Perverts are breaking into appliance stores and molesting vacuum cleaners by the hundreds.

"The problem is on the rise," according to Chicago police Sargent Victor Nedrosky. "It used to be sexy vacuum cleaners could live in peace without getting harassed and abused. But more and more perverts are molesting innocent vacuum cleaners and it has become a big problem for appliance stores and the police."

"It used to be in the old days," says vacuum salesmen Herbert Golvunk, "that just a normal lock on the store door would do. Nowadays you need to barricade a vacuum cleaner store or the perverts will find a way in. We lose thousands of dollars a year due to the molestations. And once the vacuums are molested it's difficult to find a home for them. Even if we clean them up, when people buy a new vacuum they want a fresh virgin vacuum. It is sad, but once a young innocent vacuum is molested it is scarred for life."

"It's a big problem in .... Continue Reading this perverted article ......

Everyone In The USA, Without Exception, Is Crazy

Modern life in America, and the world for that matter, has led to social conditions and an environment that has caused mental disease in everyone. "What?" you exclaim, "Are you saying there exists no one who is sane in the entire United States?" Right. If there is anyone out there that is not crazy, they would have to be crazy to live amidst such a huge confederacy of crazy people. For anyone to maintain sanity in this world is pure insanity-so that only proves our point that everyone is crazy.

Are you wondering, "Just what makes you think everyone is crazy? I know a lot of people who are getting on just fine." If that thought entered your head, it shows you are crazy yourself. Most everyone is plagued by ridiculous beliefs, crazy behavior --drug addictions for example. (And that includes Americas two most abused drugs-TV and religion.)

A few years back George Carlin summed up the contagion of crazy beliefs, "What is all this shit .... Continue Reading this crazy stuff .....

New Virus Turns People Into Orthodox Jewish Rabbis

A new virus is sweeping the nation and thousands of people have been infected. This virus does not make people sick, but the virus makes people believe they are orthodox Jewish rabbis.

Justervod Elsap was a normal guy who watched football, drank beer and worked in a hardware store in Chicago. Last Tuesday he woke up with curly sideburns and insisted on wearing black clothes and a yarmulke. He surprised his buddies when instead of serving beer and pretzels at a football watching get together at his house he served Manischewitz wine with gefilte fish.

Howard McToggleburg, a garbage man in Philadelphia, showed up for work in traditional rabbi attire and held a Torah. He slowed up work because he gave each garbage can a blessing to make sure it was kosher before throwing it into the truck. Philadelphia garbage officials put McToggleburg on sick leave and sent him home.

The virus is causing problems for some folks like Viril and Chesepeak Mchooterswap who are pig farmers outside of Hoboken, Oregon. "This virus is ..... Continue Reading about this Kosher virus ...

--MCT prognostication for the next decade and beyond in the case civilization does not collapse. (So the predictions here may not happen.) You will never find a more absurd, bizarre, off the wall but at the same time convincing prediction of the future.

Are humans smarter than yeast? Yeast reproduce like crazy, eat up all their food and then die from starvation (resource depletion) and from their poisonous excrement waste (pollution). So we may have a future of Apocalypse and collapse. The world will be thrown into a new dark age with untold misery. In case this doesn't happen--and we don't believe this outcome will be less likely-- we predict the the following possibilities:

Here are MCT predictions of how the human race may adapt to limited resources, or even newly found and utilized resources, (for example--a discovery of how to harness nuclear fusion or a solar energy breakthrough with people adapting to vast energy cut backs.)

So if the human race, for example, gets rid of cars or figures a way of electrifying transportation via trains and batteries with wind power (or a less likely nuclear fusion scenario) collapse will not happen. The following predicts a future if the human race turns out to be more adaptable than warlike, suicidal and destructive and not quite as dumb as yeast. What will life be like then? Will life be a utopia? .....Continue Reading MCT predictions about sex, food, drugs, space travel and others .....