Wednesday, 29 July 2009 20:26
Brian Friedkin
Ground Breaking News!
Treasury Department To Be Razed For New Super Walmart
 Last week we reported that the Treasury department is moving its offices into the Goldman Sachs headquarters and putting their building up for sale. (link) Now there is a buyer. Walmart officials and the General Services Administration, the government branch that deals with federal buildings, have jointly announced that they will raze the US Treasury Department building to make way for a "Supercenter" Walmart store. We reported three years ago that Walmart was going to raze the White House and build a super center there.( link) While Bush was eager to catch up with the rest of America and move the White House to the suburbs the Bush transition team ran into problems. A few months down the road the Republicans lost control of congress and had trouble passing their agenda. So Bush administration officials concluded that by the time they would move the White House to the suburbs their term would be over anyway. But Walmart still wants to take over the capital. They have already conquered the rest of the country--so they jumped at the opportunity to build a ... Continue reading about Walmart's treasury take over, Plus: Read a MCT scoop on how Walmart aims to make millions even after the dollar collapses and oil is scarce and expensive ....
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Last Updated on Wednesday, 05 August 2009 21:17
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Wednesday, 22 July 2009 22:14
Brian Friedkin
US Treasury Department Will Move Their Offices Into Goldman Sachs Building -- Treasury Building To Be Mothballed In Cost Cutting Move
 It's a win-win situation. The government is aggressively looking at ways to slash expenditures to cut the enormous deficit. What a way to make a start symbolically and literally. The government will cut the Treasury by slashing the expense of the huge Treasury building. The Obama administration has scheduled to put the vast building on sale. At the same time Goldman Sachs has a lot of excess office space. With so many Wall Street firms out of business Manhattan has a glut of empty offices. "Donating office space is the least we could do for the Feds after all they have done for us. They let our competitors go out of business but they propped up firms like AIG who owed us billions of bucks. Donating office space is our way of saying thank you to the government," said a Goldman Sachs spokesman.
Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner said, "It makes sense for us to move into the Goldman Sachs headquarters in New York. New York City is the ....Continue reading this Treasury story ....
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Last Updated on Wednesday, 22 July 2009 23:24
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Wednesday, 15 July 2009 19:03
Brian Friedkin
Porno Sites That Cater To Nose Fetishists Raking In Millions
 Pornography is a giant industry. Forty to fifty percent of all Internet traffic is devoted to pornography and there are sites featuring everything from midgets to women who pee. But with all kinds of wacky fetishes old hat people are looking for something new. The newest odd fetish to come out of the closet is noses. Nose fetish web sites, featuring sexy women's noses, are ringing in record hit numbers. “It's the oddest thing,” says pornographer Sammy Slisershot, “I never thought I'd be paying sexy women top dollar to leave their clothes on and take pictures of their noses. But that's what people seem to like now. Noses!”
Emily Senbus always considered herself as a conservative, “I never even thought of doing pornography. I don't even have very big breasts. But if all the pornographers were interested in was my nose I didn't see anything wrong with it—especially for the money I make.”
Senbus has what nose fetishists consider an extremely sexy ..... Continue reading about sexy noses ...
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Last Updated on Wednesday, 15 July 2009 21:17
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Wednesday, 08 July 2009 16:45
Brian Friedkin
Sarah Palin Killed Michael Jackson
 Normaly MCT does not cover trendy news items like TV gossip networks and other publications do. We are a serious publication devoted to covering more important topics like zombie infiltration, sexually perverted space aliens, chickens and botched nose jobs.
But since we do cover noses we sent a correspondent to investigate the surgeon behind the famous Jackson nose deflation techniques. This led us into a tangled web of Jackson's inner circle and his connection to Sarah Palin. We were so shocked that we even missed the memorial. (But that was OK because to our dismay Dweezil Zappa was not invited to perform the wonderful tribute song his father wrote about Jackson, "Why Don't You Like Me?")
While other publications seek out celebrity personalities MCT talks to gardeners and maids to get the real story. We went to Jackson's mansion and saw hordes of reporters acting like a bunch of 12 year old girls waiting for someone famous to prostrate themselves to.
Meanwhile we talked to the gardener, Alfonzo Zeeberzanches, as he left the grounds unnoticed, .... Continue reading what the gardener said and the rest of the story .....
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Last Updated on Wednesday, 08 July 2009 18:14
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Wednesday, 01 July 2009 20:20
Brian Friedkin
Multi-Racial, Multi-Ethnic Patriotic Couple Gives Birth To Red, White And Blue Baby
His mother is half Irish and half American Indian. His father is half Mexican and half Italian. Her father is half black and half Chinese. Her mother is of Eastern European Jewish origin, part Japanese, and part hillbilly. This married couple is made up of ancestors from all corners of the Earth, but they are all American. One thing this couple always had in common was their patriotic love for the USA.
Bernie Wingtlalato, their neighbor says, "They always do it up on holidays. On July the Forth they'll usually have ten flags waving. They sure love the USA!"
The patriotic multi-ethnic, multi-colored couple always wondered what color their baby would be. So imagine their surprise when ....... Continue reading about this red, white, and blue baby and see another photo .......
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Last Updated on Wednesday, 01 July 2009 21:24
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Wednesday, 24 June 2009 14:01
Brian Friedkin
Extraterrestrials Planting Bugs In Chickens
Are chickens following you and hanging around to hear what you are talking about? You thought it was your imagination. Perhaps you thought again and reasoned, "Chickens following me around to hear what I might say? Absurd!"
You are not the only one who has been wondering, "Why is that chicken following me around?" It turns out strange chicken behaviour has been perplexing thousands of people around the country. FBI officials in several regional offices report getting several calls a day about odd chicken behavior. "The phone calls all start out the same," says FBI agent George Hentduntly, "'You may think this is a strange phone call, but there is this odd chicken....'"
These odd chicken antics can now be explained .... Continue reading this chicken story ......
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Last Updated on Saturday, 16 January 2010 23:09
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Wednesday, 17 June 2009 00:00
Brian Friedkin
New Sport Craze: Live Cat Soccer
A new sport is sweeping the nation and the world: Live cat soccer. The game is played with a live cat instead of a ball and animal rights activists are outraged.
Huge crowds are attending the matches and businessmen in several cities around the world are in intense talks about forming professional teams that could help stimulate the dire worldwide economic situation. Meanwhile attendance at traditional soccer or “futball” matches around the world is plummeting.
“It's an extremely exciting sport,” says player Benie Evidlobal. “Not only do you need to outrun and out maneuver the opposing team like in traditional soccer, you also need to outrun and out maneuver a live cat. Then cat soccer has the gory excitement of a bull fight when the bull gets killed at the end. That is because usually by the fourth quarter the cat dies after being kicked around so much. Then the whole dynamics of the game changes because it takes a lot of athletic ability to kick around a dead cat and score goals with it. It's not like it's a soccer ball and easily rolls around.”
Enid Pelvurtus, a PETA official has tried to get the police and the courts to stop the games. So far he only got the police to delay two out of hundreds of games. “This sport is an outrage and ..... Continue reading about this new and exciting sport.....
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Last Updated on Wednesday, 17 June 2009 21:09
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Wednesday, 10 June 2009 19:13
Brian Friedkin
God Sends Johnny Cash To Play In Prison Hell Circuit 
No one has proved that there is an afterlife. However, people who proclaim they have recently had near death experiences and seance participants are reporting startling news: Johny Cash is now on a prison hell tour.
Supposedly God sent Cash down to hell to give respite in the form of entertainment to the millions of tormented souls. Many sufferers have had no break for a millennium. Elbert Jonesbov, who died in Folsom prison in 1995 while serving life for murder said, "I was given a rotten lot in life and I inflicted evil on people. But what luck I have had to have seen Johnny Cash when I was a young prisoner in the 60's, in the Folsom penitentiary and now again in hell." This was reported from a Los Angeles drunk driver, Jed Strutermean, who crashed and put himself into a coma for a week. Doctors believed he was dead but he revived at the last minute.
Others are reporting similar stories.... Continue reading about Johnny Cash music in hell ....
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Last Updated on Thursday, 18 June 2009 08:33
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