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The Next Big Thing That Will Pull The World Out Of The Economic Crisis: Dwarf Tossing!

In the past dwarfs were merely fairytale objects in films like Disney's, 'Snow White,' or 'The Wizard of Oz.' In the future dwarfs will be venerated sports heroes.

There are cultural phenomenas and inventions that come about that change the world forever. The gun, the printing press, the airplane, rock and roll, electricity and the Internet all impacted the world beyond measure. These phenomenas had huge economic reverberations. What will be the next giant phenomena that will change life forever? Could this next big thing be the economic stimulus that transforms the world to break us out of the current economic crisis? A group of intellectuals, scientists and prognosticators, including Nobel prize winners, got together and asked these exact questions. They examined things like wind power, the rebuilding of an electric rail system, an advance in solar energy technology, the viability and possibility of nuclear fusion. After several intense weeks of study they unanimously decided that the next big thing will be dwarf tossing. They made a persuasive argument in their 400 page report that the dwarf tossing phenomena will bring the world out of the economic crisis.

Dr. Elmont Chestmontville, a Harvard Sociologist, said, “A generation from now the world's greatest dwarf tossees will be just as famous as ...... Continue reading this Great  news ......


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Last Updated on Sunday, 29 March 2009 19:25 Read more...
 
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Hoboken, Oregon Divided On Hosting Idiot Convention

The Hoboken, Oregon Convention Bureau doesn't even do good business in the summer. The town is far from anywhere. In winter when it is rainy and snowy no one comes. That is, until last year when the International Association Of Idiots decided to host its annual March convention there. Now the Idiots want to come back to Hoboken for the 2009 convention and many are welcoming the business in this economic downturn. But half of the city wants to keep them out.

“It was a nightmare for law enforcement last year,” says police chief Ernie Koobouts.“We had hundreds of idiot conventioneers going around in bathing suits in freezing weather asking for directions to the swimming pool. One guy shivering his ass off told me, 'Last year's convention in Miami had a pool, so I thought all conventions had pools.'

“We had a cold snap last year and several idiots froze their tongues to lamp ...... Continue reading this idiotic article ......


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Last Updated on Wednesday, 11 March 2009 20:33 Read more...
 
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MCT Foresaw The Financial Crisis

We published an article in November, 2006: “Sprawling Factory Built In Oregon, But No One Knows What They Make, Including The Workers — Stock is way up!” We wrote about a factory that produced nothing but the company finances and business plan looked good to investors--so the stock was going up. Sound familiar? It could have been titled, “If The Manufacturing Sector Was Run Like the Financial Sector.”

Investment banks and Wall Street financiers created “wealth” and profits out of nothing. For example, they engineered derivatives— complex bets that were essentially making money off of money. This is different than investing capital based on savings from real work and production. So the house of cards has collapsed. If you are confused about what is going on imagine it is still 2006 or 2007. Here is reprint of our November 2006 article about a factory that is run like the financial industry was. Maybe now it will make sense. Maybe not. .... Click to read the article,

Sprawling Factory Built In Oregon, But No One Knows What They Make, Including The Workers — Stock is way up!


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Last Updated on Wednesday, 04 March 2009 21:22 Read more...
 
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Alternative Universe Is Discovered That Is Exactly Like Earth Except Rock And Roll Is Unpopular And Polka Music Is The Rave

in the worm hole

Can you imagine a world where the Beatles and the Rolling Stones are nobodies and Sven Jorgensen and His Yodeling Accordion Quartet are more popular than Jesus Christ? Can you image a world where the accordion is like the electric guitar and hip musicians don't play bass—they play tuba?

For years doctors thought astronaut Jeral Googorston was crazy. Googorston even thought he was crazy himself. Jeral Googorstron had everything going for him. In 1991 he launched into space as a member of the space shuttle. In a routine spacewalk during the mission something strange happened to Googorston. He explained it to MCT:

“While I was space walking outside the shuttle I had an inexplicable experience. It felt like I ...... Continue reading this multi-dementional story ......


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Last Updated on Wednesday, 25 February 2009 22:20 Read more...
 
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Dog Breaking News!

Psychologist Argues In Provocative Book That Dog Owners Are Clinically Insane

Now think of this. I am a hairy guy. I will be coming to live at your house. I won't ever use the bathroom except to drink out of the toilet. I'll get my hair all over and smell bad. But the worst thing about my stay at your house is that I will shit and piss everyday in your back yard and you, not me, will have to clean it up. I'll even lay around in it if you don't clean it up. In addition, I will howl during the full moon and you will need to spend money on me.

You'd have to be insane to put up with the above scenario. But that's what millions of dog owners do.... Continue reading about this dog shit & take a poll ....


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Last Updated on Wednesday, 18 February 2009 23:20 Read more...
 
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Hello Folks, Instead of a normal article this week we're doing an infomercial. We have given our web site over to Amazon.

Swindle 2: Amazon's New Wireless Reading Device (Latest Regurgitation)

Price: Only $359.00!!! Cheap!! & this item ships for FREE with Super Saver Shipping.
This item will be released on February 24, 2009.
Pre-order now!
Ships from and sold by
Amazon.com. Gift-wrap available.

Order Swindle now to RESERVE YOUR PLACE IN LINE. We prioritize orders on a first come, first served basis.

Hello!! We are the Amazon folks! We created one of the world's greatest Internet resources! We improved the world with our fantastic web site—a massive portal of information and reviews on almost any book written and millions of other products. So why would you think we are now trying to become like Microsoft, by creating a evil monopoly that will require you to buy all your reading material from us? Isn't a benevolent, cool magnetic ink monopoly better than a boring bookstore with old school books? Magnetic ink—that almost sounds like magic ink, and it is. So why shouldn't you pay us for it? Don't you people fork over money to Apple for overpriced gadgets that are much more useless and overpriced than the Swindle anyway? Take a look at the Swindle.. we got the hot, sexy gadget for you!! .......

Say Hello to The New Swindle!

.... Continue reading about the Amazing Amazon Swindle, read a personal message from Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos, & take a poll .....


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Last Updated on Saturday, 23 January 2010 21:22 Read more...
 
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Man Returns From Hell With Horrifying Report

HellDid the devil get drunk and mess up? Last week after doctors pronounced Jelbert McKoondlefart dead he woke up. He had been dead for three days and then rose up in a mortuary just as a undertaker was about to cremate him. But the amazing thing that is startling doctors and Mckoonlefart's relatives is that the death survivor is telling about his experiences in hell.

In an exclusive interview with MCT McKoondlefart related what life in hell was like:

“The devils made me live in a suburban hell ranchette house with plastic vinyl floors and counters. The food down there was part of the torture. It was terrible. The devils forced me to eat McDonald's! Baloney sandwiches on Wonder bread, Taco Bell food, macaroni and cheese from the box and hamburger helper. I felt so sick after eating that stuff that I thought I was going to die again.
........ Continue reading about this HELLISH torture!! ......


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Last Updated on Friday, 13 February 2009 00:35 Read more...
 
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Surgery Botch Up In Operating Room: Man Ends Up With Two Noses!

Chef Don Kahuna is not happy with his new nose. Don Kahuna, chef and owner of the famous Hula Huli Chicken restaurant in Springfield, Oregon was having problems with throat infections. (They were probably exacerbated by his yelling at his employees on how to cook chicken in his exacting way.) So on doctors recommendations he went into the hospital for a tonsillectomy. When he woke up in his hospital bed after the operation he felt something strange. He scratched his face and felt two noses. He went to the bathroom to look in the mirror. He saw two noses on his face! And to add insult his tonsils were still intact.

“Besides looking ridiculous everything smells twice as bad. Sure, it is OK when something smells good, but if someone farts .... Continue reading about this bloody medical messup and take a poll!


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Last Updated on Thursday, 29 January 2009 19:39 Read more...
 


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"I credit MCT's hard hitting journalism for preventing war and fostering understanding among peoples”
--Elbert Zinous, Head Custodian of Hoboken, Oregon Elementary School no. 3

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Not all MCT past articles are in the new system yet. If you're interested, use Google to search for any article going back to 2004.

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