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An End To World Hunger? Surgeon Transplants Goat Stomachs Into Poor People So They Can Eat Grass

A prominent surgeon from the Hoboken, Oregon Medical Institute, Dr. Midros Hienzmucker has perfected a revolutionary way of ending world hunger. Dr. Hienzmucker crafted an operation that transplants a goat stomach into a human stomach. The human recipient with the added goat stomach can then eat grass, or even paper--anything that a goat can eat and digest it. Furthermore the enzymes in the goat stomach process the grass carbohydrates into energy giving nutrition.

"This is a development that has the power to transform the world," says humanitarian Edzel Frustrawhip. "Dr. Hienzmuckers foresight may create a future world without hunger and make possible ...Continue reading about this amazing breakthrough....

WOMAN SITS ON GUM ON CITY BUS AND GETS STUCK TO SEAT FOR THREE YEARS

The amazing survival story of  Mildred Felkelstien's three year ordeal on a bus!

"It all started when I unknowingly sat on some gum that some dirty kid must have spit out. When I tried to get up to get off at my stop I couldn't get up. Maybe it was some powerful glue that someone put there as a joke--I don't know-- because it held me with a powerful force. Perhaps some construction worker sat there and spilled some heavy duty adhesive. I missed my stop and I was moving around juggling to get up. People just looked at me like I had to pee or something and wouldn't help me. Finally exhausted I sat back down. When other passengers would sit next to me I would say, 'Can you help me? I am stuck. Do you have a ....... continue reading this amazing urban survival epic....

Meltingclocktimes.com Has A New Website!

Happy New Year 2009! The all new MCT features an all new website with:

*Weekly updates
*A million dollar offer to anyone who can prove our articles are not true*
*Ads with scantily clad attractive women
*All the state of the art web site things such as, leaving your own stupid comments, social linking,  dynamic content--(meaning you'll see different stuff over on the sides every time you visit.)

Now that we have redone the web site the MCT will be on board publishing hard hitting articles every week. So visit here for continual weekly bad taste. If you haven't visited Meltingclocktimes.com before, (or if you did and forgot because you are brain dead like most people), and you are not sure what we write about here--and we aren't sure ourselves--read the the FAQ and the About pages. (Click the buttons on the upper right to see the pages.)

Thanks for reading the articles and proving to yourself and the world that you are not brain dead because you only looked at the pictures!

 *click for details on how to try and claim $1,000,000.  

Frank Sinatra Still Alive! Seen With Elvis Presley

Great news for music fans! The greatest crooner of them all, Frank Sinatra, is still alive. Numerous tourists saw the Chairman of the Board hanging out with Elvis Presley at his Graceland mansion—and one even got a photo (pictured here). Apparently his death was a rumor or just misreported. Witnesses reported that not only is Sinatra alive but that he appears healthy and in good spirits.

“This is the most fantastic news I ever heard,” exclaimed Sinatra Biographer Helmut Verstien. “We can only hope that unlike Elvis Presley, the Chairman will get tired of not being in the limelight and resume his singing career.”