Are Porno Movies Going Overboard?

The label of a typical porn DVD found in a local adult shop.
The label of a typical porn DVD found in a local adult shop.
It used to be that a magazine like Playboy publishing pictures of a woman’s tits would outrage people. Four or five years ago Janet Jackson exposed her breast during the Super Bowl half time show and caused a controversy. But we wonder if anyone would notice if she did it now –just a few years later. The way things are going before you know it transsexual midgets getting golden showers will be standard fare in family Disney films.

Meltingclocktimes.com surveyed porno trends and found these scenes in several recent porno movies:

•A popular new film includes group sex with alligators, giraffes and orangutans. In one recent porno movie Honey Bomberooni gets into a male prison and takes on 50 guys at once. Then she does the entire Barnum and Baily Circus (including the animals).

•In another popular new film porn star Hotcha Kaboom sticks an entire motorcycle up her thing.

•Another movie just out has 300 lesbian nymphets simultaneously pissing on each other creating not just a golden shower, but a golden waterfall.

• Porno star Bertha Buttcakes actually sticks her entire head in an lesbian elephant’s asshole. When asked about whether she thought that scene was obscene Buttcakes replied, “You have to have an open mind. We washed Ginger’s (the elephant’s name) asshole out in a car wash so it wasn’t dirty at all. It was a very erotic experience for both me and the elephant. I hope to do future films with her.”

“It’s getting outrageous,” says dignified older woman Joyce Smelingeras 63, of Lansing, Mich. “Back in the old days you would see some oral sex with a lesbian scene or two. Now women having sex with hermaphrodite donkeys and sticking bowling balls up their anal cavity is standard fare. It’s obscene and it’s getting so a respectable older woman like myself can’t even go into a porno shop any more without getting subjected to this trash.”

Porn producer Jebenezzer Graham says, “Sure the films are outlandish these days, but we are giving the public what they want. I’d love to go back to days of making films with a simple orgy, a blow job scene and a basic thing like a hot chick playing with herself. But that kind of stuff is too pedestrian for Joe public today. Audiences want tri-sexual midgets getting splattered on by perverted cross dressing farm animals. If you don’t include that sicko stuff in movies today it will not sell. And with the economy the way it is and  millions of competing porno web sites you need to have the most revolting and shocking stuff to succeed.”

Militant feminist groups are up in arms. Gertrude Paddocklocks, a spokesperson for NOW said, “We think this slave driving objectification of women is an outrage and our organization is lobbying congress to change the first amendment, instate the death penalty for pornographers and form the PEA, the ‘Porno Enforcement Agency.'”

Others think the wild pornography is a good thing. Psychiatrist Dr. Elbos Beethead said, “The preponderance of a wide variety of sexual experience shows an openness which I think is psychologically healthy,”

Porn customer Bulbus Heedlewood counters, “What openness in society? I can’t even get my wife to give me a blow job. Do they go to foreign planets to get women for these pornos? If so, I would like to find out what planet they come from and get a one way ticket to the place!”

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