BP Executive Has Personal Crisis Unrelated To Gulf Oil Spill That Has Slowed Down Plugging The Horizon Well

This pool's water doesn't look so blue anymore.
This pool's water doesn't look so blue anymore.
A BP Vice President who normally would have been in command in rectifying the huge disaster in the Gulf of Mexico was too occupied with personal tragedy and left BP unprepared to deal with the Horizon oil spill. VP for off shore operations Wisbon Vivolchuck had recently bought a ranch in Texas. A real estate agent involved with the property told MCT that Vivochuck and his family wanted a place out in the middle of nowhere to prepare for a potential collapse of America due to its dependence on oil! Viochuck and his family are huge swimming enthusiasts. The first thing they did was put in a huge Olympic sized pool. “It was a beautiful pool,” said local real estate agent Jessalee McHoootersap, who was involved in the sale to BP VP Vivochuck. “But the ranch was on a former oil field. After a few years the pressure from the old well built up and broke though the wall of the pool. Oil started leaking into the pool.

“I was devastated,” said the BP VP. “How can my kids swim now and train? My kids have Olympic aspirations. Who is ever responsible for this shoddy pool work must pay. We spent a fortune on that pool! And who capped those old oil wells. They did such a bad job that they should probably go to jail. These people cut corners and did terrible work.”

Vivolchuck became so engrossed with the oil in his ranch pool that he neglected his job at BP. Since there was a vacuum in BP management structure the Horizon oil spill got neglected and has turned into perhaps the worst environmental disaster in history. BP tried to make out that they are trying to fix the Horizon leak, but a low ranking assistant at BP told us that when the head honchos at BP and the government call someone to get to work fixing the leak they usually get responses like, “That’s not my department. Call up VP Vivochuck’s office.”

When you get Vivochuck’s office you get put on hold. Esteen Bolderdash is a secretary in the BP CEO office. “My boss said to me, ‘Sit and call Vivochuck until you get through. I don’t care if it takes ten hours.’ After four hours I got through and I told him that the BP CEO demands he mobilize resources to get on that spill immediately. And he replied to me, “You just tell Mr. Big Shot CEO that he’ll just have to wait. I got oil in my swimming pool! Right in my back yard. This Horizon thing is a hundred miles out at sea. And it’s a mile deep. I got it right in my back yard for criminy sake. Can you believe that? Do you know all the lawyers and BS I have to go through to get this problem fixed?”

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