Category Archives: Noses

Life Smells Sweet For The Man With The World’s Biggest Nose

Life Smells Sweet For The Man With The World’s Biggest Nose

Stephen Montipoopleir has the world's biggest nose.
Stephen Montipoopleir has the world's biggest nose.

Stephen Montipoopleir of Paris, France has the world’s biggest nose. He works in the specialized field of perfume sampling. When perfume factories get batches of lavender or sarcophagus they need smellers to distinguish the good and bad batches. Motipoopleir’s nose is not only the biggest but it’s one of the best in the industry. Its big size makes for more nerves and olefactorous surface area resulting in a keen sense of smell. Even though perfume sales are down in the worldwide financial crisis, Montipoopleir says he still makes millions of Euros a year. His home is surprisingly modest for such a rich man. Montipoopleir lives in a working class area of Paris. Montipoopleir and a slightly overweight middle aged woman greeted me at the door.

I entered the house and shook Montipoopleir’s hand. He indicated the woman and said, “This is my servant. Get us some wine, woman.”

The woman made a scowl and said, “You are not going on with that again? People will just think you’re a banana nosed nut case.”

“Is that your wife?” I asked.

“Are you joking? I am surrounded by the most beautiful women in the world. Women half her age. The perfume industry’s fashion models. And they all love me. Women love my fame and big

.... Continue Reading & get your nose into the rest of the story .....

New Oddball Crime Wave: Burglars Stealing Noses

New Oddball Crime Wave: Burglars Stealing Noses

These are some noses that the NYPD confiscated from nose criminals. If you know the owners of these unclaimed noses please have them contact the proper authorities.
These are some noses that the NYPD confiscated from nose criminals. If you know the owners of these unclaimed noses please have them contact the proper authorities.
Thieves across the nation are plaguing law enforcement officials and stealing noses. Many people look upon nose theft as comical, but it is no laughing matter to its many victims. An unfortunately typical senario beset a New York city man who wished to remain nameless. Last Monday a man broke into his apartment while he was sleeping and stole his nose. No one knows if the suspect is wearing the nose or what he is doing with it. The NYPD is advising Manhattan residents to report suspicious characters who appear to have two noses or anyone carrying a nose sized bag.

High tech police crime prevention, computerized alarm systems and DNA analysis are all contributing to a lower overall crime rate. “So criminals are resorting to unusual niches in the burglar industry,” says New York police officer Barty Buckmonts. “People do not expect that there are nose thieves—but there are and nose crime is increasing. While people safeguard jewelry and credit cards noses are left out in the open and thieves are taking advantage.”

Officer Buckmonts related another typical case: “A woman walked down

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Hospital Mess Up: Sex Change Patient Mixed Up With Nose Job Patient

Hospital Mess Up: Sex Change Patient Mixed Up With Nose Job Patient

Victim of a botched surgery, this patient now has a nose in the groin area.
Victim of a botched surgery, this patient now has a nose in the groin area.
Unfortunately doctors sometimes mess up. One recent medical screw up is causing a controversy.  In a Hoboken, Oregon hospital surgeons mixed up a nose job patient and a sex change patient. The sex change patient ended up with a nose in-between his or her legs. The nose job patient ended up with a vagina-like creation in the middle of her face.

“This lack of professionalism is outrageous,” said a patient rights advocate Hector Fubocella. “Both of these doctors and the hospital deserve big fines and suspension of licenses.”

A spokesman for Hoboken General Hospital released a brief statement saying, “We regret the error and we are working to insure future mistakes will not happen.”

The sex change operation victim, who wished to remain anonymous, told Meltingclocktimes.com, “You bet I am suing. You have no idea how terrible it is to pee out of a nose. All of my life I have been confused about my sexuality and now

.... Continue Reading & get your nose into the rest of the article ....

Sexy Noses

Porno Sites That Cater To Nose Fetishists Raking In Millions

Sexy noses are driving men wild & fueling a new Internet economic boom while the rest of the economy is floundering.
Sexy noses are driving men wild & fueling a new Internet economic boom while the rest of the economy is floundering.
Pornography is a giant industry. Forty to fifty percent of all Internet traffic is devoted to pornography and there are sites featuring everything from midgets to women who pee. But with all kinds of wacky fetishes old hat people are looking for something new. The newest odd fetish to come out of the closet is noses. Nose fetish web sites, featuring sexy women’s noses, are ringing in record hit numbers. “It’s the oddest thing,” says pornographer Sammy Slisershot, “I never thought I’d be paying sexy women top dollar to leave their clothes on and take pictures of their noses. But that’s what people seem to like now. Noses!”

Emily Senbus always considered herself as a conservative, “I never even thought of doing pornography. I don’t even have very big breasts. But if all the pornographers were interested in was my nose I didn’t see anything wrong with it—especially for the money I make.”

Senbus has what nose fetishists consider an extremely sexy

..... Continue reading about sexy noses ...

Tomatoes Grow Noses!

Tomatoes Grow Noses!

 Albert Gosuelezstien got the shock of his life after returning home from the store when he started preparing a salad. He grabbed a tomato he bought and saw it had a nose! He jumped. It turns out that an entire truckload of genetically modified tomatoes that were delivered to a Hoboken, Oregon Safeway store had noses.

Department of health officials quarantined the store area and advised local shoppers that, “While we know of no adverse effects of eating tomatoes with noses, consumers should do so at their own risk.”

Gerald Rutreldov, a manager for Safeway said, “We apologize to anyone who was inconvenienced by the tomatoes with noses and will give a full refund to all who inadvertently bought the tomatoes. For those individuals who still wish to purchase these tomatoes

........ Continue reading about this odd tomato of a story .........

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