Buy the Kindle book at Amazon for 1 measly buck! Or, Buy the Paperback for Only $5.50!
If you have such rotten taste to be on the MCT web site you will also be stimulated by Brian Friedkin’s book, Zip PT Zoingzoing’s Adventures In Outer Space —An outrageous travelogue through the Milky Way Galaxy. Renegade astronaut Zip PT Zoingzoing teamed up with Brian Friedkin to tell his story about traveling from planet to planet and encountering strangely familiar and crazy life forms. Below is one of the shortest chapters for you to sample, “The Planet Of Tiny Lights,” which is also dramatized above [via YouTube] by the Hoboken, Oregon Shakespeare Guild.
So click on this unique audio book excerpt– if you are stimulated blast off to Amazon to get more info, reviews, read the introduction, other excerpts and get the book, Zip PT Zoingzoing’s Adventures In Outer Space
How these hippies got into space is a great mystery. NASA official Edsel Googerbran said, “I think these hippies may have somehow got tangled up with a weather ballon and were catapulted into space. They may have been orbiting the Earth for years.”
Others are offering theories as to how the VW hippie van got up there. Another NASA official said, “I think they may have been screwed up from the marijuana, took a wrong turn and ended up on a jet runway. Perhaps they somehow got tangled up with a jet and were dragged up into the atmosphere. Who knows what may have happened?”
About a year ago we published an article, Alternative Universe Is Discovered That Is Exactly Like Earth Except Rock And Roll Is Unpopular And Polka Music Is The Rave. It was about astronaut Jeral Googorston’s experience getting sucked through a worm hole from an alternative universe that was exactly like this universe– expect the alternative universe has polka wherever we have rock and roll. Now another astronaut has come out of the closet. Zebenhouser Verilstiener says he had a similar experience that astronaut Jeral Googerston had during a routine space walk only 5 months ago. When he returned to earth he couldn’t believe how advanced all the computers were.
Verilstiener told his story, “I thought I was nuts. In my universe Apple manufactures all computers and they’re outrageously expensive. Color computers cost 6000 bucks and
A growing problem is terrorizing appliance stores that sell vacuum cleaners and bogging down law enforcement agencies across the country. Perverts are breaking into appliance stores and molesting vacuum cleaners by the hundreds.
“The problem is on the rise,” according to Chicago police Sargent Victor Nedrosky. “It used to be sexy vacuum cleaners could live in peace without getting harassed and abused. But more and more perverts are molesting innocent vacuum cleaners and it has become a big problem for appliance stores and the police.”
“It used to be in the old days,” says vacuum salesmen Herbert Golvunk, “that just a normal lock on the store door would do. Nowadays you need to barricade a vacuum cleaner store or the perverts will find a way in. We lose thousands of dollars a year due to the molestations. And once the vacuums are molested it’s difficult to find a home for them. Even if we clean them up, when people buy a new vacuum they want a fresh virgin vacuum. It is sad, but once a young innocent vacuum is molested it is scarred for life.”
“It’s a big problem in
Imagine our shock when the creature pictured on the right walked into our offices here at MCT. As you can see he has three noses and ears, four eyes and two mouths. His skin color is green, purple and red striped with green polka dots. He told us that he is the highest ranking General in the Zeedbout Army from the planet Zeedbout stationed on Earth. Normally we would have thought he was a nut, but his four eyes, two butts and third arm coming out his back (not pictured) convinced us to take him seriously.
The following is a transcript of the vitally important news that the General conveyed to us:
“Greetings Earthling readers at Meltingclocktimes.com. I have come to give you a message, as I am now touring all the major media outlets on the Earth to get the message out. From here I will be flying to the East coast of your continent to relay this same message to editors at the New York Times and the Washington Post.
“The message is this: