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Sarah Palin Killed Michael Jackson

Sarah Palin Killed Michael Jackson

This is the grandiose empire that Governess Palin presided over. If she gets elected President we can expect more architectural marvels like this.
This is the grandiose empire that Governess Palin presided over. If she gets elected President we can expect more architectural marvels like this.
Normaly MCT does not cover trendy news items like TV gossip networks and other publications do. We are a serious publication devoted to covering more important topics like zombie infiltration, sexually perverted space aliens, chickens and botched nose jobs.

But since we do cover noses we sent a correspondent to investigate the surgeon behind the famous Jackson nose deflation techniques. This led us into a tangled web of Jackson’s inner circle and his connection to Sarah Palin. We were so shocked that we even missed the memorial. (But that was OK because to our dismay Dweezil Zappa was not invited to perform the wonderful tribute song his father wrote about Jackson, “Why Don’t You Like Me?”)

While other publications seek out celebrity personalities MCT talks to gardeners and maids to get the real story. We went to Jackson’s mansion and saw hordes of reporters acting like a bunch of 12 year old girls waiting for someone famous to prostrate themselves to.

Meanwhile we talked to the gardener, Alfonzo Zeeberzanches, as he left the grounds unnoticed,

.... Continue reading what the gardener said and the rest of the story .....

Multi-Racial, Multi-Ethnic Patriotic Couple Gives Birth To Red, White And Blue Baby

Multi-Racial, Multi-Ethnic Patriotic Couple Gives Birth To Red, White And Blue Baby

George Washington Jefferson & his proud parents.
George Washington Jefferson & his proud parents.

His mother is half Irish and half American Indian. His father is half Mexican and half Italian. Her father is half black and half Chinese. Her mother is of Eastern European Jewish origin, part Japanese, and part hillbilly. This married couple is made up of ancestors from all corners of the Earth, but they are all American. One thing this couple always had in common was their patriotic love for the USA.

Bernie Wingtlalato, their neighbor says, “They always do it up on holidays. On July the Forth they’ll usually have ten flags waving. They sure love the USA!”

The patriotic multi-ethnic, multi-colored couple always wondered what color their baby would be. So imagine their surprise when

....... Continue reading about this red, white, and blue baby and see another photo .......

Extraterrestrials Planting Bugs In Chickens

Extraterrestrials Planting Bugs In Chickens

This looks like a harmless chicken, but beware! It may be a dangerous spy in cahoots with aliens
This looks like a harmless chicken, but beware! It may be a dangerous spy in cahoots with aliens

Are chickens following you and hanging around to hear what you are talking about? You thought it was your imagination. Perhaps you thought again and reasoned, “Chickens following me around to hear what I might say? Absurd!”

You are not the only one who has been wondering, “Why is that chicken following me around?” It turns out strange chicken behaviour has been perplexing thousands of people around the country. FBI officials in several regional offices report getting several calls a day about odd chicken behavior. “The phone calls all start out the same,” says FBI agent George Hentduntly, “‘You may think this is a strange phone call, but there is this odd chicken….'”

These odd chicken antics can now be explained

.... Continue reading this chicken story ......

Live Cat Soccer

New Sport Craze: Live Cat Soccer

A new sport is sweeping the nation and the world: Live cat soccer. The game is played with a live cat instead of a ball and animal rights activists are outraged.

Huge crowds are attending the matches and businessmen in several cities around the world are in intense talks about forming professional teams that could help stimulate the dire worldwide economic situation. Meanwhile attendance at traditional soccer or “futball” matches around the world is plummeting.

“It’s an extremely exciting sport,” says player Benie Evidlobal. “Not only do you need to outrun and out maneuver the opposing team like in traditional soccer, you also need to outrun and out maneuver a live cat. Then cat soccer has the gory excitement of a bull fight when the bull gets killed at the end. That is because usually by the fourth quarter the cat dies after being kicked around so much. Then the whole dynamics of the game changes because it takes a lot of athletic ability to kick around a dead cat and score goals with it. It’s not like it’s a soccer ball and easily rolls around.”

Enid Pelvurtus, a PETA official has tried to get the police and the courts to stop the games. So far he only got the police to delay two out of hundreds of games. “This sport is an outrage and

..... Continue reading about this new and exciting sport.....

God Sends Johnny Cash To Play In Prison Hell Circuit

God Sends Johnny Cash To Play In Prison Hell Circuit

No one has proved that there is an afterlife. However, people who proclaim they have recently had near death experiences and seance participants are reporting startling news: Johny Cash is now on a prison hell tour.

Supposedly God sent Cash down to hell to give respite in the form of entertainment to the millions of tormented souls. Many sufferers have had no break for a millennium. Elbert Jonesbov, who died in Folsom prison in 1995 while serving life for murder said, “I was given a rotten lot in life and I inflicted evil on people. But what luck I have had to have seen Johnny Cash when I was a young prisoner in the 60’s, in the Folsom penitentiary and now again in hell.” This was reported from a Los Angeles drunk driver, Jed Strutermean, who crashed and put himself into a coma for a week. Doctors believed he was dead but he revived at the last minute.

Others are reporting similar stories.

... Continue reading about Johnny Cash music in hell ....

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