The President showed a penchant for red dresses and put
A prominent surgeon from the Hoboken, Oregon Medical Institute, Dr. Midros Hienzmucker has perfected a revolutionary way of ending world hunger. Dr. Hienzmucker crafted an operation that transplants a goat stomach into a human stomach. The human recipient with the added goat stomach can then eat grass, or even paper–anything that a goat can eat and digest it. Furthermore the enzymes in the goat stomach process the grass carbohydrates into energy giving nutrition.
“This is a development that has the power to transform the world,” says humanitarian Edzel Frustrawhip. “Dr. Hienzmuckers foresight may create a future world without hunger and make possible
Mildred Felkelstien is a retired school teacher who one day went out for a simple bus ride across town to visit her daughter. The bus ride turned into a three year hell after she accidentally sat on some gum and couldn’t get up from the seat. What follows is Mrs. Felkelstien’s own words in an exclusive interview with Meltingclocktimes.com of how she survived, how she failed to get people to help her, and how she eventually freed herself:
“It all started when I unknowingly sat on some gum that some dirty kid must have spit out. When I tried to get up to get off at my stop I couldn’t get up. Maybe it was some powerful glue that someone put there as a joke–I don’t know– because it held me with a powerful force. Perhaps some construction worker sat there and spilled some heavy duty adhesive. I missed my stop and I was moving around juggling to get up. People just looked at me like I had to pee or something and wouldn’t help me. Finally exhausted I sat back down. When other passengers would sit next to me I would say, ‘Can you help me? I am stuck. Do you have a
(Originally published in spring 08 before she dropped out of the presidential race. After she dropped out we reduced our offer to $19.95.)
A Person lies dead in a morgue and his finger nails and hair continue to grow. A chicken with his head cut off runs around. Scientists say electrical energy in nerves make it possible for a headless chicken to run around. But human nerve structure is much more complicated than in a chicken. Could a disease attack a human’s brain, or can an arterial blockage kill the higher functions of the brain and leave reptilian motor functions of the brain intact? Then suppose that electrical nerve impulses move muscles in the brain dead human that mimic higher brain functions? For example, speech or driving a car? These are questions being raised in a landmark study by Dr. Ziegfried Yoddlebucker. Dr. Yoddlebucker tested the brain waves in thousands of people and found that nothing is there in perhaps 50% of the population. Yoddlebucker has discovered, that remarkably, half the people in the United States may actually be dead even though they appear to be alive and functioning. Although Dr. Yoddlebucker’s findings are controversial many scientists conclude that it does explain a lot of behavior among people that does not seem to include thought.
Scientists have discovered that many activities do not require higher brain processes. People with severe brain damage can drive a car, go shopping or even