“This is the most fantastic news I ever heard,” exclaimed Sinatra Biographer Helmut Verstien. “We can only hope that unlike Elvis Presley, the Chairman will get tired of not being in the limelight and resume his singing career.”
Others were ecstatic with the news that Sinatra is doing well. “I came here to Graceland because I love Elvis,” said 74 year old New Jersey tourist George Dashyevsky. “But not only did I see Elvis himself, I saw Frank Sinatra also! Can you believe that? Wow!”
A growing number of doctors and medical care experts have reached the conclusion that many patients who have died or are dying are not really sick or even dead, but that they suffer from a severe form of hypochondria.
“The theory, which seems absurd at first, makes a lot of sense when you examine the arguments,” says Mayo clinic medical researcher Dr. Velstien Vertboots. “A lot of people think because they are old they must die. But the human body even in old age is very resilient and has amazing healing powers. It is only people’s attitudes that make them feeble, sick and dead. Death is mostly a psychological problem and then many people thrive on the attention they get while dying. Many deceased people are actually healthy.
Restaurants in Italian sections of cities across America that have advertised “Low Carb” are getting windows broken out and thugs are beating up “low carb” chefs. Panic is sweeping through the restaurant industry. I called up my friend Luigi. Luigi is in the thick of the underworld. If something is going on Luigi gives me the scope. Luigi and I met at our favorite Italian restaurant. This place served traditional Italian food, so it suffered no vandalism like other places on the street. We sat down at the red checkered table and
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