We are republishing the following because it fits the Halloween season and explains the headless elections coming up:
A shocking update to Washington Irving’s “Headless Horseman!“
Horsemen do not travel America’s roads today, but the headless are more numerous than ever. Beware!
It is deep into October. The days are short and a long black gloom haunts the night. Eeriness creeps in from the clammy midnight air. It was in October when Washington Irving wrote about Ichabod Crane and the headless horseman. Irving must have looked out his window in the dead October black and got a chill. What was out there?
Have you wondered what happened to the headless horseman? Does he still roam the deserted night roads and haunt the nervous traveler anxious to get home safe from unseen eyes that spy him from the dim woods, and from underneath the bridges?
Surely you do not literally think there is such a creature, do you reader? It is all a fiction, right? I would like to laugh off the story of Ichabod. But why has Irving’s tale lasted two hundred years? Do you not feel something there in the dank lightless October still hours? Something, I dread, still roams the lonely roads. The hideous spirit that haunted Ichabod still stalks us. These ghouls have even multiplied! Reader, you might hide under your blanket and wait for the morning light and go about in your bright day. But there is shadow world from which you cannot hide. I have discovered it and I will warn you now so you may protect yourself if that is possible: Thousands, no, not just thousands, but millions of people in our fair country have lost their heads! Beware!
These headless ghouls roam the streets. They haunt the shopping centers. They drive on the highways, they are in workplaces, in factories, in offices and stores. The headless sit on couches in countless homes watching TV! Whoa to you if you so enter these homes! That they would be confined to one deserted path where Ichabod Crane unhappily chanced upon. No! Today it is far more dire. The headless are everywhere!
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Elford Zeeberzocks got tired of the rat race in Seattle, Washington. So he cashed in on his overpriced house a few years ago and moved to the slower paced Hoboken, Oregon. Zeeberzocks thought Hoboken was much like other places in America, a decrepit downtown, with depressing suburban sprawl and crappy post WW II architecture. But even so, Hoboken seemed nicer than other small American cites. It is near pristine forests and mountains and there is a good ski area just an hour away.
Zeeberzocks used to work in construction and spent months remodeling his new house. He ended up with a great place to live that would have cost a fortune in Seattle. But his paradise started looking grimmer –something was strange in his section of town.
A Person lies dead in a morgue and his finger nails and hair continue to grow. A chicken with his head cut off runs around. Scientists say electrical energy in nerves make it possible for a headless chicken to run around. But human nerve structure is much more complicated than in a chicken. Could a disease attack a human’s brain, or can an arterial blockage kill the higher functions of the brain and leave reptilian motor functions of the brain intact? Then suppose that electrical nerve impulses move muscles in the brain dead human that mimic higher brain functions? For example, speech or driving a car? These are questions being raised in a landmark study by Dr. Ziegfried Yoddlebucker. Dr. Yoddlebucker tested the brain waves in thousands of people and found that nothing is there in perhaps 50% of the population. Yoddlebucker has discovered, that remarkably, half the people in the United States may actually be dead even though they appear to be alive and functioning. Although Dr. Yoddlebucker’s findings are controversial many scientists conclude that it does explain a lot of behavior among people that does not seem to include thought.
Scientists have discovered that many activities do not require higher brain processes. People with severe brain damage can drive a car, go shopping or even
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