Economic Stimulus Program At Work: Shop, Restaurant Owners & The Down & Out Wait For Goldman Sachs, Morgan Chase Millionaire Vacationers To Leave Big Tips

Bumfuck, Nevada, a small tourist and cattle town in the economic dumps put up this Las Vegas style sign to encourage an economic stimulus.
Bumfuck, Nevada, a small tourist and cattle town in the economic dumps put up this Las Vegas style sign to encourage an economic stimulus.
Just about a year ago the economy really started collapsing. But Americans, while many have lost their jobs, their homes, have seen their retirement accounts shrink and their businesses slow way down are really eager for the US economic stimulus program to trickle down. Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan Chase, and other banks paid their employees millions of dollars in bonuses. The New York Attorney General reported that “Nine banks that received government aid money paid out bonuses of nearly $33 billion last year — including more than $1 million apiece to nearly 5,000 employees — despite huge losses that plunged the U.S. into economic turmoil.”(link) (& the original NY Attorney General report link)  But many folks across the country are optimistic that the bank bonus millionaires are out there and spreading the wealth. Kertie Ziglewats, is a typical hopeful American. Ziglewats lost his construction business in the downturn. To try and save his business he refinanced his house, got behind on the payments and lost it. He now lives under a bridge in Hoboken, Oregon. During the day he hangs out downtown with shoe shine equipment. “I am just waiting here for a vacationer from Goldman Sachs to get a $50,000 dollar shoe shine. I know

for those guys it ain’t nothing to get a $50,000 shoe shine.”

Chester Izoruts runs a restaurant in downtown Philadelphia, “I serve great food at a low price, but everyone is cutting back and not eating out. I am not making any money and I’m nearly bankrupt. But I am staying open because I am waiting for a bank bonus billionaire to come here and give me a $50,000 tip.”

The local paper, The Eugene Register-Guard, near the MCT mansion in Hoboken, Oregon published a story about the rough time dairy farmers are facing.(link) Many farmers have gone bankrupt and others are barely surviving. Wilford Kezershruber is a Wisconsin dairy farmer, “I am about to go bankrupt. But I ain’t worrying. I am expecting a Goldman Sachs or Morgan Chase millionaire to come and buy some creme or fresh milk and give us a $50,000 tip–$50,000 is peanuts to those guys. I know it’s crazy that farmers like myself feed people with healthy food and we hardly can buy shoes for our children. And then financiers in New York–Citigroup, Chase, Goldman Sachs– just push around money and make billions. Or should I say lose billions but then get it back back via government bailouts? But I suspect those smart guys in New York and in the government are doing the right thing in this great country. So I am waiting for our great system to work. To do my part I am putting out a sign on the highway that says, ‘Welcome, New York Financiers! Come try our wholesome milk. Tips appreciated!'”

A Hoboken, Oregon hardware store owner reported to us that the bank bonus millionaires are getting out in the country and stimulating us. “An old woman and a well dressed younger man entered my store. The old woman said, ‘My grandson here came all the way from his busy job in New York at Goldman Sachs to visit his sick Grandpa and he’s helping me put in a new screen door.’

“‘Isn’t that great,’ I said. ‘I have been waiting for economic stimulus money for months now. My business has dropped 40%.’

“I had little else to do because of the slow business and helped them to get the right door. They really surprised me by buying the cheapest plastic one. The Goldman Sachs man and his grandmother paid and started toward the exit. I was amazed. They just went away paying the exact $40 for the door. So I said, ‘Hey! What about the economic stimulus?’

“‘What do you mean?’

“‘I mean the tip.”

“‘This is just like New York. Everyone wants a tip. Since when do hardware stores get tips? Good day,’ he said and walked out.

“I was so angry that I ran after him with a baseball bat that I keep behind the counter for thieves and whacked him in the head. If he hadn’t put his arms around his head and if his grandmother wasn’t screaming I probably would have gave him a concussion. I was so angry I even wanted to belt his grandmother, but I controlled myself.

“But why did I get angry at one Goldman Sachs selfish asshole? I am sure another big bank bonus millionaire will come around. The economic stimulus program is bound to work. Because isn’t America the greatest country?”

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