MCT Investigative Report:

Everyone In The USA, Without Exception, Is Crazy

–And that includes you reader!

If we had a national uniform it should be a straight jacket.
If we had a national uniform it should be a straight jacket.

MCT launched a thorough investigation that probed into the media, social and political life. We interviewed thousands of people, we scrutinized hundreds of media sources. We came to the inescapable conclusion that everyone in the US, without exception, is crazy. Are you from another country? Most likely you are crazy also.

Modern life in America, and the world for that matter, has led to social conditions and an environment that has caused mental disease in everyone. “What?” you exclaim, “Are you saying there exists no one who is sane in the entire United States?” Right. If there is anyone out there that is not crazy, they would have to be crazy to live amidst such a huge confederacy of crazy people. For anyone to maintain sanity in this world is pure insanity-so that only proves our point that everyone is crazy.

Are you wondering, “Just what makes you think everyone is crazy? I know a lot of people who are getting on just fine.” If that thought entered your head, it shows you are crazy yourself. Most everyone is plagued by ridiculous beliefs, crazy behavior –drug addictions for example. (And that includes Americas two most abused drugs-TV and religion.)

A few years back George Carlin summed up the contagion of crazy beliefs, “What is all this shit

about Angels? Have you heard this? Three out of four people now, believe in Angels. What’re you, fuckin’ stupid? Has everybody lost their fuckin’ minds in this country?”

“What?” you argue, “Who are you, MCT, to say people’s beliefs are crazy?”

If you believe something that is not true you are crazy. Suppose what we think is a crazy belief is actually true. That also means we are crazy. But if you are not bound by insane beliefs you are living in a world full of people that have divergent beliefs than you and that is bound to make you crazy. For example, just last night little green aliens abducted me and dragged me into their space ship operating room and gave me an anal probe. Luckily I ate beans for dinner and I was able to muster a fat fart into the aliens’ faces while they were probing me. So they kicked me out of their space ship. This morning I walked to a local store for some milk for my coffee and someone said to me, “How are you this morning?”

I replied, “I am tired and my ass is sore because last night little green aliens abducted me and gave me an anal probe.”

The guy looked at me like I was some kind of nut. So you see how people who disbelieve the truth act towards others that do not share their crazy conceptions? Sane people are teated like wackos and it can make them nuts.

“Well,” you say, “People who believe things differently than me do not bother me.” It does not matter. There are other modes of insanity that effect you even if you think you are sane. For example, your behavior. In America a shit load of crappy fast food is causing a diabetes epidemic. I am sick of hearing that people eat this shitty food because it tastes good. It does not. McDonald’s tastes like crap. The only reason why people eat junk food is because they are crazy! Perhaps you are thinking I am crazy because I do not think this food tastes good. So, no matter which way you look at it we are all insane. In my view it makes me crazy because millions of people are crazy enough to eat that crap. Or, I am crazy to believe fast food does not taste good –but you are still crazy to eat something that makes you fat and diabetic.

There are many other modes of craziness. How many times have you heard this? “I have known X for 30 years and I never really knew them.” How is that people say they love each other, get married and a few years later they get divorced, try to screw each other in court and hate each others’ guts. Is that not crazy? You say people change. Well, changing your personality is unstable and a sign of schizophrenia. Craziness. More proof.

Craziness abounds every aspect of life. For example, politics. Everyone is disgusted with government. But who votes for the idiots that make the government what it is? The same people. The Republicans said you can’t trust the government and got into power, ran the government for many years and proved their point. More proof of craziness.

We were going to offer a $500 prize to anyone who could prove they were sane. But you would have to be crazy to try and prove you are sane. And if we are crazy how could we determine who is not crazy?
And who is this “we” we are talking about? Isn’t this being written by one person? How do two people type something in the computer?

The people could take turns and alternate letters.

So you are saying a group of people wrote this and it wasn’t just one person?

You should know. You are the one doing the fucking writing.

Then who wrote above sentence?

It was you! You are schizophrenic and talking or writing to yourself. And it proves the point of the article that everyone in this country, including you, is crazy.

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