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From A Break With Breaking News! Friday, Sept. 30, 2005!
Dinosaurs Went Extinct Because
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| According to scientists, Barney was not the first gay dinosaur. |
They Were Gay
Many paleontologists are coming to the conclusion that dinosaurs went
extinct because they were gay. According to MIT scientist Dr. Irwin McCorynouat,
“There is a growing body of paleontological evidence of widespread
dinosaur homosexuality. Apparently many dinosaur species lack of interest
in the opposite sex led to a reproduction decline that led to their demise.”
Although some scientists still believe a cataclysmic event such as
a comet or climate change killed off the dinosaurs several fossil sites
are throwing a monkey wrench into old theories. In a recent University
of Montana dig researchers found two male dinosaur skeletons who died
together in a loving embrace. Researchers are seeing simular gay entwined
fossil positions at paleontological sites world wide. Paleontologists
have unearthed several dinosaur species, such as the megasaurass and
the lickalotapus, in various locations engaged in homosexual activities.
According to Dr. McCorynouat, “Scientists have long
been perplexed about the dinosaur demise. Some ideas, for example, the
theory that a meteoroid crashed into the Yucatan changing the earth's
climate, seemed plausible—but they all had holes. Bizarre as the
gay theory is, once you examine it, it is the most plausible theory
yet for dinosaur extinction. A preponderance of homosexuality can have
advantages by relieving over population pressures. For millions of years
the earth was very tropical and the earth produced plenty of leafy foods
for vast dinosaur populations. But eventually dinosaur populations grew
so immense that natural selection favored homosexuality to curtail populations.
But eventually homosexuality went too far and the gay dinosaurs failed
to reproduce themselves.”
Dr. Imeal Krackerbouts, an expert who has written extensively on the
science of homosexuality said, “We have seen homosexuality in
modern animals such as in lesbian seagulls. Homosexuality was accepted
in many ancient societies such as in Greece and Rome. These gay occurrences
may have also been in response to population pressures.”
We asked Dr. Krackerbouts, “Could this theory fuel the anti gay
religious right propaganda machine that gay acceptance could wipe out
the human race like it did the dinosaurs?”
“No,” responded Dr. Imeal Krackerbouts, ”because,
the religious right does not believe in the fossil record. And the vast
majority of people are still heterosexual and we have a huge problem
with overpopulation. Also, the gay dinosaurs did not have at their disposal
artificial insemination, test tube babies, sperm donation and turkey
basters. So the chance that humans will go extinct due to an increase
in the gay population is unlikely.”