God Sends Johnny Cash To Play In Prison Hell Circuit

No one has proved that there is an afterlife. However, people who proclaim they have recently had near death experiences and seance participants are reporting startling news: Johny Cash is now on a prison hell tour.

Supposedly God sent Cash down to hell to give respite in the form of entertainment to the millions of tormented souls. Many sufferers have had no break for a millennium. Elbert Jonesbov, who died in Folsom prison in 1995 while serving life for murder said, “I was given a rotten lot in life and I inflicted evil on people. But what luck I have had to have seen Johnny Cash when I was a young prisoner in the 60’s, in the Folsom penitentiary and now again in hell.” This was reported from a Los Angeles drunk driver, Jed Strutermean, who crashed and put himself into a coma for a week. Doctors believed he was dead but he revived at the last minute.

Others are reporting similar stories.

–> Gertrude Inklestut, an 74 year retired school teacher from Montgomery, Alabama had a heart attack and was out of it for three days. Doctors gave her up for dead and then all of a sudden she came to. Inklestut reported that she was floating on a cloud with hundreds of beautiful angels. “Several were handsome men angels who were stimulating me in very delightful ways while we ate the most delicious food floating around on gold platters. While all of this was going on there was a concert with music that was out of this world. Then Johnny Cash got on stage and performed. After he sang the most beautiful songs God came out and said to Cash, ‘Mr. Cash, you always had compassion for the downtrodden, the unfortunate, the luckless tormented souls. Go down to hell and give respite to lost souls there. Sing your songs to the forgotten tortured souls. Then come back to heaven where you belong.'”

Hell is a big place and Cash has performed several concerts in the last weeks. The crowds are ecstatic; some have gone hundreds and even thousands of years without entertainment. One hell prisoner, weary after hundreds of years of torture said,  “I was evil in life. I instigated wild rampages across Europe when I was a high ranking warrior in the 13th century Viking army. Later in life I beat my wife and robbed my friends. But Johnny Cash’s music inspires good in me. I don’t know why, but if I lived in the days of this Cash I think he may have inspired me to be a country singer instead of a marauding Viking who raped and pillaged for pleasure.” This report came from a botched nose job patient who later came back from the dead.

Medics rushed a college music professor to the hospital after he chocked on a chicken bone. Doctors gave the professor up for dead. But later he came to and explained that was in hell, “I think I went to hell because I was an effete university snob who only listened to classical music. But I saw Johnny Cash in perform in hell–and he had an amazing impact on history’s most vile people, I saw what a powerful force that music is. Music surely does tame the savage beast. And the human race is the most savage of them all!”

Other recent articles in MCT about life in hell:
Man Returns From Hell With Horrifying Report

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