Man Lets Out Hellacious Fart In Mexican Restaurant, 3 Dead

Officials examining the fart destruction.
Officials examining the fart destruction.
It may have been the strongest human fart in recorded history and the results were tragic. A Hoboken, Oregon man, who was a long time sufferer of gas, let out a fart yesterday in a Mexican restaurant and killed three people.

It must have been a terrible way to go. The district attorney is deciding whether to charge the man with anything. Several people were asphyxiated and paramedics who rushed to the scene had to give many restaurant patrons CPR. The unfortunate victims, who authorities determined died from suffocation, sat at an adjacent table near the fart perpetrator where the air circulation was poor. The restaurant owner denies that the restaurant’s beans were the cause.

With the growing population of obese people the potential for dangerous gas build up in these giant sized intestines has increased. Dr. Melville McKrauten said, “I have seen some big intestines in big bellies. An immense amount of methane gas can –>

build up in a fat person’s intestinal tract. I advise people to stay out of small enclosed areas with fat people, and have the fat people warn you if they feel a big fart coming on.”

While methane gas is not toxic, it can be flammable and drown out the oxygen and asphyxiate someone if the discharge is ample. Most people dislike the odor of methane gas, more commonly known as fart gas. But with the increasing gut sizes of an obese public a foul oder is not the only danger accompanying an inadvertent fart nowadays.

Dr. McKrauten added, “If you live with a fat person, or if you are a very fat person yourself, make sure that you always have quick access to fresh air. It is possible that you even could kill yourself with your own farts. I recommend that if you are very obese and spend a lot of time in small rooms to make sure the windows are open just in case. Fat people with flatulence problems should be extra cautious in rooms with smokers or gas fixture pilot lights.”

While the local district attorney is deciding whether to charge the flatulent fat man with murder charges, environmentalists are also alarmed. Methane gas is a green house gas that is 14 times more potent than carbon dioxide. According to Green Peace activist Eljad Cookermong, “Governments need to curtail obese people as their farting gases can eventually have terrible global warming effects. I would like to see a provision in the global treaty on limiting global warming gasses that originate in the guts of fat people.”

15 thoughts on “Man Lets Out Hellacious Fart In Mexican Restaurant, 3 Dead

  1. UPyours

    Stupid BS story. Liar!

    January 12, 2014 at 11:14 am
    1. BrianFriedkin

      Why does MCT get so many idiots like the above?

      January 14, 2014 at 10:55 am
    2. Thomas Meyers

      Are you for real?

      March 22, 2015 at 6:00 pm
  2. falconova

    Freaking hilarious

    February 8, 2014 at 2:03 am
  3. dooberheim

    Fart gas is mostly nitrogen, not methane. In fact, only about 1/3 of people actually make methane in their intestines.

    DK

    February 15, 2014 at 1:46 pm
  4. Tom

    Service must have been extremely slow in order to build up enough Methane gas in an enclosed are (small bedroom it would take 414 hours! Check out Myth Busters #48.

    October 31, 2014 at 7:13 pm
  5. Theunis

    Nitrogen is odorlous so why does a faht stink so badly. I always understood that nitrogen is highly explosive so why don’t you explode when you shake your stomach? 🙂

    January 24, 2015 at 12:30 am
    1. Brian Friedkin

      If you could get a lighter up your ass you just might explode.

      March 29, 2015 at 3:10 am
  6. Peter Bardsley

    I sometimes burp coffee breath at our budgie wondering if it gets any energy from it,at times a fart comes unexpectedly,it cocks its head looking quaintly down,a shame one can’t read its brain,Peter

    August 21, 2015 at 4:55 pm
  7. Charles

    I was there, and you discussing this brings back memories i need to forget, the initial blast was deafening then the aroma, I will never forget that smell as long as I live, i only survived because I rammed my head thru a plate glass window. I was three feet from the epicenter.

    August 29, 2015 at 4:30 pm
  8. Poppunkster

    That’s scary that something like this can happen. Really makes you think. Thanks for publishing this story that mainstream news probably wouldn’t because they would be afraid to cause a panic.

    November 28, 2015 at 8:13 am
  9. Butt Mgee

    These are the most dumbest fake news reports

    January 21, 2016 at 8:21 am
    1. BrianFriedkin

      Mr. Butt, How do you manage to fuck up the grammar in just one sentence? I think the stories are funny, not dumb– But surely you and your comment are “most dumbest!”

      January 27, 2016 at 5:05 pm
      1. Flutterbut Fan

        A highly destructive fart is always hilarious, no matter who gets hurt.

        May 25, 2018 at 6:04 pm
  10. This has to be the most absurd news article i have ever seen, has anyone ever heard of a massacre caused by a fart?

    April 6, 2018 at 6:10 pm

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

Sponsored items related to this:
Zip PT Zoingzoing’s Adventures In Outer Space
Brian Friedkin
Hey, wanna-be billionaire space travelers! Been there! Done it! & Zoingzoing didn’t waste billions$$ [like you already Mr. Bezos] because his spaceship runs on cheap s*&%. Blast off reading about Zoingzoing’s galactic travels & you’ll discover the only thing Zoingzoing has in common with other Sci-fi & the space billionaires is that it’s all based on s*&#!
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Kindle Edition
$0.99
  Para Abnormal Space Crap Invasion Mind Readers
Jack Shithead
Space Wars with Mind reading shape-shifting thriller detective laser zapping thriller. Read the page turning antics as a space detective trained assassin wards off an alien invasion as global warming disasters wreck havoc on the Universe! You’ll fall in love with the talking telepathic dolphins!

Kindle Edition
$25.99
  Space Gush Romance With Hunky Hunky Hot Breathing Alien Romantic Hunk For Pathetic Women In Space Wanda Spacelove
Another one of these hunky bodies with a six pac ab cover! Follow our heroine as she finds love on a planet of hunky space billionaires! Oh!

Kindle Edition
$29.99
"World leaders have read Brian Friedkin's book about Zip PT Zoingx2’s travels across the galaxy for a unique perspective. Maybe that is why the world is so f#@&ed up. Get it at Amazon!

Archives