Have you ever got a junk mail ad for a magazine? MCT advocates the death penalty for spammers and junk mailers. But if we sent a bulk advertisement out like those you used to get before the Internet got big it would be like this:
Where do intelligent and inquisitive readers like yourself go to get an unorthodox and an “out of the box” perspective on contemporary issues? For nearly five years Meltingclocktimes.com’s unique voice has been enlightening on-line readers with broad range of timely and timeless articles found nowhere else. From healthcare to fashion, to sports and current events Meltingclocktimes.com has led the way on the Internet giving brilliant minds, geniuses, political leaders, top CEOs and losers like yourself the information they demand and need to get ahead in today’s topsy-turvy world.
But not only do we think Meltingclocktimes.com gives you vital information to get ahead, choose winning stocks, form your educational basis for making breakthrough scientific advances, combat global ignorance and eradicate deadly diseases like cancer. We also believe Meltingclocktimes.com can also inform you on how to live the good life.
We have had articles on new mouthwatering culinary trends such as, New Craze In Cuisine For The Rich: Mashed Donkey Brains! for example. We have published exposes about people with good taste defending traditional cuisine with articles like, Mafioso Thugs Terrorizing “Low Carb” Restaurants. In this article we exposed the new face of the Mafia as a force of good stamping out the ridiculous low carb diet fad. And look, a few years later you don’t hear about the low carb bullshit anymore. We like to think we had an influence along with the Mafia in stamping out “low carb” stupidity.
We have had ground breaking articles on health issues. Did you know that many water supplies contain a chemical that will make you believe you are Elvis Presley? You aren’t mistaken if you thought there are a lot of Elvis impersonators around. Only Meltingclocktimes.com wrote about this (Mad Scientist Puts Chemical In Water Supply That Will Turn Everyone In The Whole World Into Elvis Impersonators). Thousands of Meltingclocktimes.com readers learned how to safeguard themselves from the heartbreak of becoming an Elvis impersonator.
But there is another health menace facing the world today. It is a huge drain on our economy and causes needless suffering across the globe. But Meltingclocktimes.com is the only major publication that has given attention to this serious health epidemic: It is the problem of chronic hypochondria. We talked to doctors on the forefront of this issue who made the case that many dead people are not really dead but that they have a severe case of hypochondria. Read this article and find out how you can safeguard your health. (Many Dead People Are Not Really Dead But Suffer From A Severe Form Of Hypochondria)
Not only have we been on the forefront of covering health but we also are on the vanguard of sports coverage. However, we cover sports unlike any other publication. Frankly we are tired of the same old sports coverage and we have given attention to the sports of the future: “Live Turkey Parachuting,” “Live Cat Soccer,” “Pin The Tail On The Live Donkey,” and Dwarf Tossing are just some of the exciting sports that you do not hear about anywhere else because of political correctness.
Meltingclocktimes.com has always stood against the against the censorship of political correctness and told it like is. We don’t conform to the fashions of the day. But, as we are twenty years ahead of everyone, we do write about the fashions of the future. Only MCT wrote about the new fashions like, “Rich Wackos Using Poor People For Furniture,” and “Live Cat Fur Jackets.”
In Politics Meltingclocktimes.com has always cut through BS with an insightful view. We exposed the stupidity of political propaganda/advertising in the US today. We offered Hillary Clinton $29.95 to pose nude as a more honest form of political advertising that appeals to the emotions. She ignored our offer and most likely because of that mistake she lost to Obama. (So then we reduced our offer to $19.95. But now that she is Secretary of State we may renew our offer at $24.95.) We obviously had a big influence in the election. We also were instrumental in defeating McCain because he defaced our website with his ads via Google. (see FAQ) We were the only publication that exposed Bush, and his cabinet in a wild transvestite party in the White House. In this complicated world it is difficult to make sense out of who wields the power that makes things the way they are. MCT wrote about Hieme Smielsmucker. Who is he? He is a short, bald, fat guy in New Jersey who actually is more powerful than anyone and controls the world. No other publication exposes the truth about the world power structure like MCT.
So whether it is sports, politics or health Meltingclocktimes.com is the world’s leading Internet publication. But MCT goes even beyond that and also covers other vital issues that others miss. We write about sexually perverted space aliens, zombies and their infiltration into our society, vampires, mutating tomatoes, chickens, noses and we report Frank Sinatra sightings (Yes, he is alive)! These are the topics that you need to keep abreast of in today’s world!
What the hell is the Meltingclocktimes.com?
Meltingclocktimes.com is a leading internet publication read by world leaders, top corporate CEOs and losers like yourself. No other publication offers such intellectually stimulating news on diverse topics like, botched nose jobs, sexually perverted space aliens, and mutating tomatoes and chickens. While other publications may have Elvis sightings news Meltingclocktimes.com was the first (and so far only) publication that has unearthed evidence that Frank Sinatra is still alive also.
Who is behind the Meltingclocktimes.com publication?
Meltingclocktimes.com has a staff of 500 full time corespondents and investigative journalists, 50 graphic artists and photographers. The chief editor, writer, photographer, web designer, and janitor Brian Friedkin is ruthless. His standards are so high that as of today, he has rejected every single piece that the staff has submitted and produced himself everything on the web site.
I want to /send you an obscene note/ offer to pose nude / send a fan letter/. What is your email?
Write to the: Letterscrutinizer@meltingclocktimes.com
Your advertising is very unobtrusive and easy on the eyes. Is it true that you rejected several big paying advertisers because you didn’t want them defacing your web site?
Yes, over the years we have rejected advertisements from Microsoft, Apple, General Motors, The Committee to Re(?)elect George Bush, and others because they insisted on using flashing advertisements that irritate your eyes and distract you from the page content. Meltingclocktimes.com will never have flashing advertisements. (However we cannot control Goggle ads and will have to trust Google.) But we will never have a goddamned pop-up, nor make any reader fill out a form or register for anything.
You say you will, “have to trust Google.” Didn’t Google ads feed out a shit load of propaganda for John McCain on MCT right after you had a few articles satirizing and exposing political advertising as propaganda that has no place in a democratic society?
To our dismay and out of our control Google ads published propaganda for John McCain on MCT.–see hereXX and hereXX–– Because McCain defaced our web site we helped defeat him. It goes to show Google algorithms don’t always work that well on sites like this. But we think Google is mostly a good company that makes a lot great tools for computers– even though they fucked up with those ads.
Is it really true that many world leaders, like the President of the US, members of the US Congress, CIA operatives and many CEOs read Meltingclocktimes.com to keep abreast of issues that mainstream publications might miss?
Who writes these FAQ that you see on almost every web site? Is it the same person?
Yes. There are only a few of us. We go around and write these things for just about every web site. I was always very inquisitive as a child and asked too many questions. So when the Internet came around and so many companies and organizations had a need for FAQs I found the job that was just perfect for me.
Do you write the questions, or do you write the answers, or both?
I only write the questions. Another guy goes around to all the web sties and writes the answers.
I don’t understand. How could you have just answered that question if you only ask the questions?
You should know. You just answered the question for me.
I would never answer that, because it was a stupid question. The person who would ask it would have to know the answer. And how would I know what you think unless we are the same person? This is so crazy that I think we must be the same person. I am right aren’t I?
I am sorry, but I can’t answer your question because I only ask questions. It is not my job to answer. That’s your job, so answer it yourself.
If you want to get technical about it, you just answered me saying you will not answer. We must be the same person, because you can’t even keep straight who is asking and who is answering.
Bullshit. You are the one who can’t keep straight who is asking and answering the questions, not me. Excuse me, it wasn’t me who can’t keep things straight, right?
That wasn’t even a question!
Here’s a question for you: Why don’t you shut up and go wait in the car?
How can I go wait in the car if we are the same person?
It is my job to ask questions, so quit taking my work. Excuse me. Shouldn’t you quit taking my work?
Why don’t you go wait in the car?
So you agree that we are two different people now?
No, we could be schizophrenic.