MCT has no Facebook page.
MCT has no Twitter page.
MCT has no Myspace page.
Fuck Facebook, Fuck Twitter and Fuck Myspace.
–But Bad Taste Is Still Thriving
The generation born before WW II had terrible taste. Tuna casserole, fast food, suburbia, all are inventions of that generation. Plastic flowers, plastic floors and counters, were all non existent before these people existed. They have parted their warped values down to the younger generations–but not all have lasted. The last woman who had a plastic pink flamingo in her yard and wasn’t even joking about it has died.
“It is hard to say stuff bad about this generation because they survived the depression, and fought WW II. But something must have been in the air that made people go nuts. What would compel someone to put a plastic pink flamingo in their yard and not even be joking?” wondered philosopher Ellvord Stikenbuberoo. “After WW II everything started going to hell–the only thing that improved really was race relations in the US. Just look pre WW II photos. Americans were well dressed. Most buildings were well designed and aesthetically pleasing. The plastic pink flamingo generation came up with polyester leisure suits. Another thing this generation came up with is Naugahyde–fake plastic leather. Why would anyone in their right mind make or
Pollution Free Technology Will Revolutionize The World
Engineer Rufus Thornburt might not be a household name yet, but Thornburt and some alternative energy innovators believe one day he will be as rich and famous as Bill Gates. Rufus Thornburt has invented an innovative but simple way of producing electricity. It causes no pollution and the energy will be too cheap to meter.
Thornburt explains, “It’s based on the concept of, ‘What happens when ya’ stick a beer can in water? It rises to the top.’ You tie the beer cans on a wheel and put it in water. The wheel is connected to a turbine.”
When Thornburt gets confronted with questions like, “What about the laws of physics that explain perpetual motion machines as a physical impossibility?”–He replies: “Lookie here! I am an Engineer with a degree from a reputable correspondence school. People told Thomas Edison all the things he invented were impossibilities too! We don’t need those negative attitudes around here!”
Thornburt told about the difficulties implementing his beer can technology and the history of it: “I came up with this here invention going back
A new fashion craze is sweeping the nation. Fashion conscious people are displaying their dead grandparents in their living rooms. Many people are disgusted and appalled at the new fashion, and health authorities are warning people that having a rotting corpse in your house may be unhealthful. But many people are in love with their new conversation pieces and many interior decorating magazines and web sites are raving about the trend.
“Having a relative die now is less painful,” says interior designer Brucey Tuchoos, “because at least you get a fantastic opportunity to use the corpse to make a striking fashion statement in your living room décor.”
Many people are taking their dead relatives to taxidermists, who
Genetic scientists have done it again. Researchers at the Acme Genetics Corporation (Web site) have successfully produced dogs without assholes. “This will revolutionize the pet industry,” says Acme Genetics spokesman Ilvord Veganostrup. “Almost everyone loves dogs. But many people did not want to own dogs because of the inconvenience of cleaning up after them. We have eliminated that problem and have opened a whole new market for dog ownership.”
Acme Genetics scientists worked for years altering dog genetics. “We had several prototypes that unfortunately prematurely exploded,” said Veganstrup. “But our engineers did not give up. We engineered new dog
A high ranking FBI official has informed Meltingclocktimes.com that a fugitive mad scientist has developed a chemical, which he aims to put in the world wide water supply, that will make everyone believe they are Elvis Presley. Our secret source stated that, “This mad scientist loves Elvis Presley and in his demented world view he wants to see the entire world populated with Elvis impersonators. But the world will not be populated with merely Elvis impersonators. People, after drinking the tainted water, actually believe they are Elvis Presley.”
The Elvis chemical has already contaminated water in
No one had heard from Elbert Wingducker for weeks. Finally his sister broke into his house and found Elbert’s skeleton in the shower with a thick lather of shampoo on his head. Hundreds of empty shampoo bottles were strewn all over the bathroom floor. Apparently Elbert Wingducker was a man who took things too literally. He read the instructions on the shampoo bottles to, “Lather, rinse and repeat,” and continued until he withered away.
Elbert’s sister Stella said she plans on suing shampoo companies. “My brother was
Is your life better than it was fifteen years ago because we have the Internet now? Think about it. Isn’t it a giant waste of time? Sure, putting parasites like travel agents, stock brokers and newspaper classified advertising monopolies out of business is good. Sure, the wealth of information is good. But mostly the Internet has turned into to a fucking waste of time. The Internet makes available so much information that no one can take it all in. So we have more and know less because there is too much of everything.
I was thinking the Internet is good because there’s so much fascinating stuff to read. Before the Internet people sat like zombies transfixed in front of televisions turning their brains into horseshit. (& if you are thinking, “I’m special because I watch sophisticated movies and documentaries,” –Fuck you. You’re still a couch potato in a vegetative state engrossed in fantasy world that someone else created.) So… I thought at least people read on the Internet. And reading educates, stimulates and exercises the brain–unlike TV and movies that turn you into a zombie. But I suspect people are not watching TV much less. And people are not reading so much via the Internet–they’re watching youtube videos. So the Internet is just another vehicle for TV. Then there are all the social networks where you can spend hours just clicking on pictures of your, “friends.” Is that not a colossal waste of time?
Since MCT is on the avant-guard of world trend setting culture we contemplated getting a Facebook/Twitter account for MCT CEO’s Brian Friedkin’s intestinal gas and fecal matter. That way you can stay updated to the breaking split second whenever MCT CEO Brian Friedkin farts or takes a shit. But isn’t there enough shit already on the Internet?
So turn off the computer–it’s springtime. Go outside, go into the mountains and wrestle a bear, or get lost in a forest. If you live near the ocean go jump in the water and wrestle a shark. If you’re near the desert go drag your varicose veins over the rocks and cactus. Go talk to your neighbors. The problem is that you’re all uninterested in each other because how can you stir anyone’s interest if you’re glued to computers and TV screens all your life? Go have sex with your wife or girlfriend instead of wasting your time with Internet porn. If you have no mate go see some strippers and at least interact with a live human. Women, go screw your boyfriends and husbands. If you don’t have one quit being so hard to get. Take a chance on someone. You never know, something good might come out of it.