Hey Wanna-Be Billionaire Space Travelers! Been there! Done it! & Zoingzoing didn’t waste billions [like you already, Mr. Musk, Mr. Bezos!] just to go to a crappy nearby desert planet like Mars. Blast off reading about Zoingzoing’s galactic travels with a spaceship powered with shit! You’ll discover the only thing Zoingzoing has in common with other Sci-fi & theRead More!
MCT is on sabbatical for now… but history repeats itself. So by clicking around and below you’ll find 100+ articles published here over the years that will always be relevant: Note from MCT CEO Brian Friedkin: From 2004 to around 2012 I regularly published articles here and then I lost interest– Some things like reader comments and pollsRead More!
Artist Violetta Fadda Is Showing The World Real Art A Meltingclocktimes.com Biographical Profile (Clicca qui per la versione italiana) Click here to go to Amazon & read a wild 35 pg story based on an episode in Violetta Fadda’s life Or here for free:X-Click-XRead More!
Recycled Toilet Paper—Questions Arise On How Toilet Paper Manufacturers Get The Shit Out Everywhere you look you see recycled products. Newspapers are made with recycled newspapers. Recycled bags in the grocery store, recycled paper towels. Meltingclocktimes.com salutes the paper industry’s endeavours to save trees by using recycled paper. But we have to draw the line on toilet paper.Read More!
Mad Scientist To Take Over Facebook And Turn It Into Buttbook MCT wrote about Dr. Vivold Linquensha more than a year ago. (link) Not only did he make billions in biotechnology, but Linquensha foresaw the housing collapse and shorted banks in 2008. (Linquensha likes short things) Linquensha became one of the richest men in the world. And whatRead More!
MCT end of the decade prognostication for the next decade and beyond: Meltingclocktimes.com Predictions For The Future Last updated in 2011 — But still relevant! –MCT prognostication for the next decade and beyond in the case civilization does not collapse. (So the predictions here may not happen.) You will never find a more absurd, bizarre, off the wallRead More!
Life Smells Sweet For The Man With The World’s Biggest Nose Stephen Montipoopleir of Paris, France has the world’s biggest nose. He works in the specialized field of perfume sampling. When perfume factories get batches of lavender or sarcophagus they need smellers to distinguish the good and bad batches. Motipoopleir’s nose is not only the biggest but it’sRead More!
Startling New Scientific Discovery: Man Did Not Evolve From Apes, Mankind Evolved From A Cat Who Fucked A Sheep –All men have a common ancestor who is the result of a cat fucking a sheep Scientists at a Hoboken, Oregon University have discovered evidence that man evolved from a mating of a sheep and a cat, not fromRead More!
Vampire Tree Terrorizing Town Hoboken, Oregon has had a rough year. First their whipped cream factory exploded and buried the town under many feet of whipped cream killing hundreds of people. (link) Much of the town is still buried but got little attention due to bigger disasters in the gulf and Haiti. Then just last week we reportedRead More!
Annual Ugly, Poor and Fat Men Convention Swarming With Groupies Every year the Society For Ugly, Poor And Fat Men hold a convention. You are maybe wondering why there is such an organization and convention. Is it to help these guys out with strategies to overcome poverty and obesity? We asked several convention goers why they came. “IRead More!
Dinosaurs Went Extinct Because They Were Gay Many paleontologists are coming to the conclusion that dinosaurs went extinct because they were gay. According to MIT scientist Dr. Irwin McCorynouat, “There is a growing body of paleontological evidence of widespread dinosaur homosexuality. Apparently many dinosaur species lack of interest in the opposite sex led to a reproduction decline thatRead More!
Scientists Develop Dog With No Asshole Genetic Engineers Do It Again! Product Will Revolutionize The Pet Industry! Genetic scientists have done it again. Researchers at the Acme Genetics Corporation (Web site) have successfully produced dogs without assholes. “This will revolutionize the pet industry,” says Acme Genetics spokesman Ilvord Veganostrup. “Almost everyone loves dogs. But many people did notRead More!
The Internet Is A Fucking Waste of Time Is your life better than it was fifteen years ago because we have the Internet now? Think about it. Isn’t it a giant waste of time? Sure, putting parasites like travel agents, stock brokers and newspaper classified advertising monopolies out of business is good. Sure, the wealth of information isRead More!
Short, Bald, Fat Guy In New Jersey Controls The World Some people go on about how the oil companies control everything. Others believe the CIA, or Goldman Sachs, or Dick Cheney, or Jews, or even Frank Sinatra (who is still alive) are pulling the strings and in charge of it all. Meltingclocktimes.com investigative reporters have discovered that HiemieRead More!
VW Hippie Van With Hippie Skeletons Collides Into International Space Station It is the most bizarre thing ever to occur in the history of humanity’s endeavors into space. Yesterday a psychedelic VW hippie van, with two long hair hippie skeletons, collided into the international space station. The hippie skeletons were outfitted with frazzled tie-dyed t-shirts and one skullRead More!
Eating Tomatoes Declared Illegal Due To Trademark Infringement Edwin Tomato says his family has had the name “Tomato” for centuries and all farmers and produce dealers owe him and his family back royalties for using his family name for their food product. “There is no evidence that any of my ancestors gave any farmer the right to useRead More!
Whipped Cream Factory Explodes, Entire Town Buried Under Whipped Cream Hundreds feared dead It was a typical American town, with tract homes, a shopping mall, fast food chains, a Walmart surrounded by a huge parking lot and a dead down town. One thing that was unique in Hoboken, Oregon was the Acme whipped cream factory. Yesterday, a terribleRead More!
MCT Investigative Report: Everyone In The USA, Without Exception, Is Crazy –And that includes you reader!MCT launched a thorough investigation that probed into the media, social and political life. We interviewed thousands of people, we scrutinized hundreds of media sources. We came to the inescapable conclusion that everyone in the US, without exception, is crazy. Are you fromRead More!
New Virus Turns People Into Orthodox Jewish Rabbis A new virus is sweeping the nation and thousands of people have been infected. This virus does not make people sick, but the virus makes people believe they are orthodox Jewish rabbis. Justervod Elsap was a normal guy who watched football, drank beer and worked in a hardware store inRead More!
Tobacco Store Receives 10,000,000th Prince Albert In A Can Crank Call If you run a tobacco store one of the drawbacks is all the idiots who call every day and say, “Do you have Prince Albert in a can?” Bertold Humbucker is a third generation owner of New York’s Big Apple Pipe and Tobacco Shop. “You wouldn’t believeRead More!
Morgan Chase & Goldman Sachs Financiers Helping Out Unemployed By Hiring Them As Human Furniture Wall Street banking firms like Goldman Sachs are reporting record profits, thanks to back door bailouts, while the unemployment rate is at the highest in nearly thirty years. Recently, in a London Times article GS CEO Lloyd Blankfein said he was doing God’sRead More!
Special Thanksgiving Turkey Report: New Sport Craze: Live Turkey Parachuting! A new sport is sweeping the nation. Skydivers are jumping out of planes without parachutes. They are attaching themselves to a string of live turkeys. Apparently the turkeys go nuts and flap their wings and act as a parachute. And with live turkeys going for less than aRead More!
We are republishing the following because it fits the Halloween season and explains the headless elections coming up: A shocking update to Washington Irving’s “Headless Horseman!“ Headless People Terrorizing Cities And Towns Across The Nation! Horsemen do not travel America’s roads today, but the headless are more numerous than ever. Beware! It is deep into October. The daysRead More!
Porno Sites That Cater To Nose Fetishists Raking In Millions Pornography is a giant industry. Forty to fifty percent of all Internet traffic is devoted to pornography and there are sites featuring everything from midgets to women who pee. But with all kinds of wacky fetishes old hat people are looking for something new. The newest odd fetishRead More!
New Sport Craze: Live Cat Soccer A new sport is sweeping the nation and the world: Live cat soccer. The game is played with a live cat instead of a ball and animal rights activists are outraged. Huge crowds are attending the matches and businessmen in several cities around the world are in intense talks about forming professionalRead More!
Zip PT Zoingzoing’s Adventures In Outer Space is now available in paperback as well as an ebook via Amazon. Click the links to check it out…Read More!
MCT Gets A Microphone Once Again into An Obama Cabinet Meeting -Democrats To Change Name To Republicans In 2012 MCT has scored another scoop. Once again we got a microphone into an Obama cabinet meeting. In this meeting Obama and cabinet discuss their plans on how to win the up and coming election in 2012. Here is theRead More!
A MCT Exclusive: MCT Plants A Microphone Into A White House Cabinet Meeting On What To Do About The Occupy Wall Street Protests Just a few days ago only a handful of news organizations were talking about the growing New York “Occupy Wall Street,” crowd. Now they have everyones’ attention and it is growing into a major movement.Read More!
–If it doesn’t show as free on Amazon –it’s free here: Russian Nurse, Smashwords version .. So read it for free & please leave a review on Amazon.. The Russian Nurse, by Brian Friedkin is now available on Amazon.com!Click the links for more info about the short story and to read it! You can get it free atRead More!
Word Mix-up Disease Afflicting Millions Have you ever thought, “The birds are blooming, the sky is singing, the flowers are blue and yet something is wrong?” Everything seems right and going beautiful but still everyone dislikes you. You may be the victim of a discovered newly disorder called, “Word Mix-up Disease.” According to psychiatrist Dr. Vertold Singsing, “OftenRead More!
Google Attempts To Censor Meltingclocktimes.com Has Google Jumped The Shark? & Is It Turning Into Just Another Giant Bureaucratic Quagmire Bullshit Corporation? If you have been on MCT before you may have noticed there were Google ads on the left column that are not there anymore. In fact, don’t you think the site looks better without that crapRead More!
The Dark Side Of The Internet: There Is A Growing Underworld Of People Publishing And Exchanging Photos Of Pet Poodles A Meltingclocktimes.com editorialRecently as I was surfing the web I accidentally hit on a random page and made a startling discovery. It is shocking and maybe you know something about it. There is an underworld of people publishingRead More!