Eating Tomatoes Declared Illegal Due To Trademark Infringement Edwin Tomato says his family has had the name “Tomato” for centuries and all farmers and produce dealers owe him and his family back royalties for using his family name for their food product. “There is no evidence that any of my ancestors gave any farmer the right to useRead More!
Whipped Cream Factory Explodes, Entire Town Buried Under Whipped Cream Hundreds feared dead It was a typical American town, with tract homes, a shopping mall, fast food chains, a Walmart surrounded by a huge parking lot and a dead down town. One thing that was unique in Hoboken, Oregon was the Acme whipped cream factory. Yesterday, a terribleRead More!
Hospital Mess Up: Sex Change Patient Mixed Up With Nose Job Patient Unfortunately doctors sometimes mess up. One recent medical screw up is causing a controversy. In a Hoboken, Oregon hospital surgeons mixed up a nose job patient and a sex change patient. The sex change patient ended up with a nose in-between his or her legs. TheRead More!
Perverts Molesting Vacuum Cleaners, A Growing Problem For Appliance Stores And Law Enforcement Agencies A growing problem is terrorizing appliance stores that sell vacuum cleaners and bogging down law enforcement agencies across the country. Perverts are breaking into appliance stores and molesting vacuum cleaners by the hundreds. “The problem is on the rise,” according to Chicago police SargentRead More!
MCT Investigative Report: Everyone In The USA, Without Exception, Is Crazy –And that includes you reader!MCT launched a thorough investigation that probed into the media, social and political life. We interviewed thousands of people, we scrutinized hundreds of media sources. We came to the inescapable conclusion that everyone in the US, without exception, is crazy. Are you fromRead More!
New Virus Turns People Into Orthodox Jewish Rabbis A new virus is sweeping the nation and thousands of people have been infected. This virus does not make people sick, but the virus makes people believe they are orthodox Jewish rabbis. Justervod Elsap was a normal guy who watched football, drank beer and worked in a hardware store inRead More!
Tobacco Store Receives 10,000,000th Prince Albert In A Can Crank Call If you run a tobacco store one of the drawbacks is all the idiots who call every day and say, “Do you have Prince Albert in a can?” Bertold Humbucker is a third generation owner of New York’s Big Apple Pipe and Tobacco Shop. “You wouldn’t believeRead More!
Morgan Chase & Goldman Sachs Financiers Helping Out Unemployed By Hiring Them As Human Furniture Wall Street banking firms like Goldman Sachs are reporting record profits, thanks to back door bailouts, while the unemployment rate is at the highest in nearly thirty years. Recently, in a London Times article GS CEO Lloyd Blankfein said he was doing God’sRead More!
Special Thanksgiving Turkey Report: New Sport Craze: Live Turkey Parachuting! A new sport is sweeping the nation. Skydivers are jumping out of planes without parachutes. They are attaching themselves to a string of live turkeys. Apparently the turkeys go nuts and flap their wings and act as a parachute. And with live turkeys going for less than aRead More!
We are republishing the following because it fits the Halloween season and explains the headless elections coming up: A shocking update to Washington Irving’s “Headless Horseman!“ Headless People Terrorizing Cities And Towns Across The Nation! Horsemen do not travel America’s roads today, but the headless are more numerous than ever. Beware! It is deep into October. The daysRead More!
New Talking Toilet Offending Users Toilets Attempt Toilet Humor & Some Aren’t Laughing The Standard American Toilet Company has come out with a new hi-tech talking toilet that is causing a waterfall of controversy. Apparently wise guys in the factory programed the toilets to blurt out insults like; “Whew! Was that a big one!” or, “Whoa, that’s aRead More!
Zombie Infiltration In America Reaching Epidemic Proportions Due To A New Breed Of Mostly Vegetarian Zombie –MCT continues its ongoing investigation into zombie infiltration in America Years ago movies, like Night of The Living Dead, showed what may have been actually based on fact: People in towns across America became brain dead and aimlessly wandered around in searchRead More!
MCT Comes Up With Six New Conspiracy Theories MCT will think you are nut if you believe in conspiracy theories about anything. In fact, we are sick of them and if the 9-11 conspiracy wackos continue with this BS as much as the Kennedy conspiracy assassination wackos our heads may explode. However, MCT has unearthed other possible conspiracyRead More!
Disgruntled Factory Worker Puts Super Glue In Condoms Thousands Of Couples Stuck Together Elmore McCowski, a disgruntled factory worker in the Sureon condom factory is now under arrest for putting super glue in thousands of packages of condoms in Hoboken, Oregon. Thousands of couples across the nation, who believed the condoms were lubricated, are stuck together and areRead More!
Millions of Americans’ Cars Are Glued To Their Asses No one really can explain how this happened. Some people theorize that these victims’ asses just melded with the car seats from being on them so much. Others think it involves some sort of toxic chemical that dissolved and attached itself to the victims’ asses. Many victims manage toRead More!