Dog Breaking News!

Psychologist Argues In Provocative Book That Dog Owners Are Clinically Insane

Now think of this. I am a hairy guy. I will be coming to live at your house. I won’t ever use the bathroom except to drink out of the toilet. I’ll get my hair all over and smell bad. But the worst thing about my stay at your house is that I will shit and piss everyday in your back yard and you, not me, will have to clean it up. I’ll even lay around in it if you don’t clean it up. In addition, I will howl during the full moon and you will need to spend money on me.

You’d have to be insane to put up with the above scenario. But that’s what millions of dog owners do.

A famed psychologist, Dr. Vertold Grouthouser, has made the argument in a provocative new book, “The Insanity of Dog Ownership,” that people who own dogs are highly neurotic in the least, and many are even clinically insane. “A person with a dog fixation is psychologically unhealthy,” says Dr. Grouthouser. “Dogs display characteristics that we would find repulsive in ourselves—blind obedience to authority, stupidity, terrible table manners, bad breath, excess sleeping, laziness and they smell bad. Why is it that people tolerate a strange dog who licks you or sniffs your crotch, but if a person does the same thing he would get thrown in jail or in a psycho ward?”

Dr. Grouthouser doesn’t stop at merely criticizing overt dog unpleasantness. He delves into the dog owner psyche and says that, “People who love and own dogs are part of sick master-slave relationship. These slave owning dog masters in their own inner souls are insecure and feel worthless. The typical dog owner attempts to overcome this by dominating dogs. Thus, the dog owner, like a slave owner is caught in a sick master/slave relationship and neither can ever really be free.”

Dr. Grouhouser goes on to say, “Dog owners are out of touch with reality. They are drawn to pack instincts of dogs and have a need to include dogs as a part of their families because they have an unreal expectation of people in their own family and world. Humans, unlike dogs, are highly individual and rebellious with selfish wants and egos. Dog owners have an unrealistic desire that people be so docile and easy to please and control. Dog owners have a mentality and a secret desire to dominate weak animals that often include their own children.”

At one time dogs were kept around to pull sleds, herd animals and keep a watch out. “Now a days," Grouthouser states, “dogs are plaything objects for egocentric individuals who think they have a loving relationship with these animals. But in fact, they have turned these animals in parasitic objects in order to gratify their own warped impulses for dominance and mastery.”

Edsel Montawap, president of Dog Lovers of America, says, “Dr. Grouthouser is out of his gourd. Dogs have been man’s best friend for eons. Apparently Dr. Grouthouser knows nothing about friendship. Dogs have enhanced life for humans. Dogs are a part of man’s natural connection with nature and the animal world–and that is healthy.”

Grouthouser counters that, “Many dog loving people have a sick sexual attraction to dogs and need psychiatric treatment. It is a fact that sexual perversion with animals is what instigated all sexually transmitted diseases and this pathology is more common than people think.”

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