Engineer Invents Perpetual Motion Machine With Beer Cans
Pollution Free Technology Will Revolutionize The World
Engineer Rufus Thornburt might not be a household name yet, but Thornburt and some alternative energy innovators believe one day he will be as rich and famous as Bill Gates. Rufus Thornburt has invented an innovative but simple way of producing electricity. It causes no pollution and the energy will be too cheap to meter.
Thornburt explains, “It’s based on the concept of, ‘What happens when ya’ stick a beer can in water? It rises to the top.’ You tie the beer cans on a wheel and put it in water. The wheel is connected to a turbine.”
When Thornburt gets confronted with questions like, “What about the laws of physics that explain perpetual motion machines as a physical impossibility?”–He replies: “Lookie here! I am an Engineer with a degree from a reputable correspondence school. People told Thomas Edison all the things he invented were impossibilities too! We don’t need those negative attitudes around here!”
Thornburt told about the difficulties implementing his beer can technology and the history of it: “I came up with this here invention going back
15 years. The oil companies have been suppressing me. Oh wee! They control everything. That’s the reason why today you don’t get your electricity from beer cans. But I keep on perfecting the technology and the momentum’s gaining. The word is getting out on the Internets! (see web site.) These here oil companies are not going to hold back the American folks much longer. I’m talking about an energy revolution here!”
Thornburt’s can-do attitude has been attracting followers to his garage in Hoboken, Oregon where his inventions and drawings are strewn all over. Jeb Einkrautov came from his ranch in central Oregon where he raises pigs. “I here found out about Thornburt’s inventions on that there Internets. I’m not one of these computer geeks but I know a good idea when I see it. I like to drink beer and I thought that there idea to put the beer cans in water is genius I tell ya. Then I found out that Rufus Thornburt is only 50 miles from my farm. I came to tell him that I want to get involved. The oil companies and the government are conspiring to stop this here great invention. You just wait! One day we’ll put the oil companies out of business! I even came up with an idea myself. I told Rufus, if you can get the beer companies to make bigger beer cans you can probably get even more power out of the things. Plus you would get to drink more beer from the cans you don’t use for electricity.”
Rufus Thornburt’s ideas even go beyond electrical generation. He explains, “After I get all of these small power plants going and give free electrical power to the people I plan on building super cheap cars that will get 10000000 mpg+! It will work like this: You take out the obsolete internal combustion engine. Then you replace it with a good sized fish tank. In the fish tank ya stick in a wheel with beer cans on it and you connect it to the drive axle. You can do the same in the trunk for four wheel drive.”
In recent years Rufus Thornbut has been a tireless crusader for his new technology, but he has met resistance from corporations entrenched in old technology and fearful of innovation. “I took my beer can energy plans to several companies,” explained Thornbut. “Just a few months ago I walked in the door of a company that installs rebuilt engines into semi trucks and heavy equipment. I told the company CEO about the coming new beer can generated energy revolution. I told him to quit installing obsolete diesel engines and to incorporate my beer can technology into semis or he and his company will go the way of the dodo bird!
“His demeanor changes and he says to me in a condescending tone, ‘Sure Mr. Thornburt. We will be sure to look at that. Now why don’t you leave your plans there with my secretary on your way out,’ as he got up, opened the door and indicated the exit.
“Then I says to him, ‘You just lookie here young fellow! I know you are in cahoots with the oil companies, aren’t you? Just how much do they pay you to keep this advanced technology out of the hands of the people?’
“’Oh, millions, Mr Thornburt, millions.’
“He admitted it! So I pointed my finger at him and said, ‘You will regret this! The oil companies and their highly paid pawns like yourself cannot forever hold down the rising tide of the American people! We will bury you! Mark my words!’ I told him a thing or two and I know he was shaking when I walked away.
“Just a week earlier I visited a widget factory to give them an opportunity to partner with me and retrofit the beer can wheel turbines and change the world. After I explained my revolutionary beer can technology to the widget factory CEO he looked at me and said, ‘Mr. Thornburt, did you ever think that your idea is absurd? Have you ever considered that you may be somewhat crazy? I don’t mean to offend you, because you seem like a nice man. However, consider my advice to reflect on yourself. Perhaps your ideas that this thing will work is wrong.’
“Well, I just looked at him, pointed my finger and said, ‘Young man,’ –even though he wasn’t much younger than me– ‘do you know how many people said the same thing to Thomas Edison? The problem with you, young man, is that you have a negative attitude. I have a positive attitude. And I believe the American people also have a positive attitude. The oil companies and negative attitudes are holding back progress! When you get a positive attitude,’ I said as I threw my card on his desk and started walking out, ‘you call me back.’
“But oil and electricity companies and negative attitudes will not hold back the American people much longer. The word is getting around! An energy revolution is around the corner!”