Surgery Botch Up In Operating Room: Man Ends Up With Two Noses! Don Kahuna, chef and owner of the famous Hula Huli Chicken restaurant in Springfield, Oregon was having problems with throat infections. (They were probably exacerbated by his yelling at his employees on how to cook chicken in his exacting way.) So on doctors recommendations he went
Read More!BUSH THROWS WILD BLOW OUT TRANSVESTITE BALL IN WHITE HOUSE Shocking Pictures! MCT Exclusive! We Were There With A Hidden Camera! President George W. Bush shocked everyone the last night of his presidency and threw a huge transvestite ball in the White House. Conservative Republicans who credit Bush for his strong moral stance are outraged. Not only Bush,
Read More!An End To World Hunger? Surgeon Transplants Goat Stomachs Into Poor People So They Can Eat Grass A prominent surgeon from the Hoboken, Oregon Medical Institute, Dr. Midros Hienzmucker has perfected a revolutionary way of ending world hunger. Dr. Hienzmucker crafted an operation that transplants a goat stomach into a human stomach. The human recipient with the added
Read More!WOMAN SITS ON GUM ON CITY BUS AND GETS STUCK TO SEAT FOR THREE YEARS The amazing survival story of Mildred Felkelstien’s three year ordeal on a bus! Mildred Felkelstien is a retired school teacher who one day went out for a simple bus ride across town to visit her daughter. The bus ride turned into a three year
Read More!Meltingclocktimes.com Offers Hillary Clinton $29.95 To Pose Nude (Originally published in spring 08 before she dropped out of the presidential race. After she dropped out we reduced our offer to $19.95.)Meltingclocktimes.com hereby announces that we will pay Hillary Clinton $29.95 to pose nude.
Read More!Scientist Discovers That Many People Who Appear To Be Alive Are Actually Dead A Person lies dead in a morgue and his finger nails and hair continue to grow. A chicken with his head cut off runs around. Scientists say electrical energy in nerves make it possible for a headless chicken to run around. But human nerve structure
Read More!Frank Sinatra Still Alive! Seen With Elvis Presley Great news for music fans! The greatest crooner of them all, Frank Sinatra, is still alive. Numerous tourists saw the Chairman of the Board hanging out with Elvis Presley at his Graceland mansion—and one even got a photo (pictured here). Apparently his death was a rumor or just misreported. Witnesses
Read More!Many Dead People Are Not Really Dead But Suffer From A Severe Form Of Hypochondria A growing number of doctors and medical care experts have reached the conclusion that many patients who have died or are dying are not really sick or even dead, but that they suffer from a severe form of hypochondria. “The theory, which seems
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MAFIOSO THUGS TERRORIZING “LOW CARB” RESTAURANTS Italian Food Lovers Say “Low Carb” Trend Is Terrorizing Good Food Restaurants in Italian sections of cities across America that have advertised “Low Carb” are getting windows broken out and thugs are beating up “low carb” chefs. Panic is sweeping through the restaurant industry. I called up my friend Luigi. Luigi is
Read More!“The Person who does not read is at the same disadvantage as someone who cannot read.” –Mark Twain MCT is on a literacy campaign. Don’t be an ignorant illiterate who only looks at the pictures and scans the headlines. Read a whole article!
Read More!Many Fortune 500 CEOs read MCTs for a unique perspective — Perhaps that’s why the world’s so fucked up.
Read More!World leaders read MCTs For An Unique Perspective — Perhaps that’s why the world’s so fucked up.
Read More!MCT will pay $1,000,000 to anyone who can prove any of our articles are not true. To make a claim for your $1,000,000 send us an email. Please include a Shakespeare sonnet in the subject line and then translate Joyce’s, ‘Finnagans Wake’ into Swahili in the letter body. Only original translations will be accepted. Then the next available
Read More!Why no MCT link section? Recall the first years of the Internet. It was content-less bunch of web sites that just linked to other web sites. A nauseating circle of links to links. The links stop here! MCT–Content only!
Read More!We have no tree wasting print edition. So you cannot use our publication for toilet paper. MCT–unlike The NY Times–is only for reading!
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