Alternative Universe Is Discovered That Is Exactly Like Earth Except Rock And Roll Is Unpopular And Polka Music Is The Rave Can you imagine a world where the Beatles and the Rolling Stones are nobodies and Sven Jorgensen and His Yodeling Accordion Quartet are more popular than Jesus Christ? Can you image a world where…
Dog Breaking News! Now think of this. I am a hairy guy. I will be coming to live at your house. I won’t ever use the bathroom except to drink out of the toilet. I’ll get my hair all over and smell bad. But the worst thing about my stay at your house is that…
********* January 2012 Update!!! ******** The satire below from 3 years ago totally changed the Kindle. I don’t know if Jeff Bezos actually read this, but is it a coincidence that everything I made fun of –from the high price to the non open platform has changed? The new Kindle works better and costs one…
Man Returns From Hell With Horrifying Report Did the devil get drunk and mess up? Last week after doctors pronounced Jelbert McKoondlefart dead he woke up. He had been dead for three days and then rose up in a mortuary just as a undertaker was about to cremate him. But the amazing thing that is…
Surgery Botch Up In Operating Room: Man Ends Up With Two Noses! Don Kahuna, chef and owner of the famous Hula Huli Chicken restaurant in Springfield, Oregon was having problems with throat infections. (They were probably exacerbated by his yelling at his employees on how to cook chicken in his exacting way.) So on doctors…
BUSH THROWS WILD BLOW OUT TRANSVESTITE BALL IN WHITE HOUSE Shocking Pictures! MCT Exclusive! We Were There With A Hidden Camera! President George W. Bush shocked everyone the last night of his presidency and threw a huge transvestite ball in the White House. Conservative Republicans who credit Bush for his strong moral stance are outraged….
An End To World Hunger? Surgeon Transplants Goat Stomachs Into Poor People So They Can Eat Grass A prominent surgeon from the Hoboken, Oregon Medical Institute, Dr. Midros Hienzmucker has perfected a revolutionary way of ending world hunger. Dr. Hienzmucker crafted an operation that transplants a goat stomach into a human stomach. The human recipient…
WOMAN SITS ON GUM ON CITY BUS AND GETS STUCK TO SEAT FOR THREE YEARS The amazing survival story of Mildred Felkelstien’s three year ordeal on a bus! Mildred Felkelstien is a retired school teacher who one day went out for a simple bus ride across town to visit her daughter. The bus ride turned into…
A new trend in furniture is spreading among the nation’s elite rich. Wealthy people are taking advantage of the huge numbers of unemployed people and hiring them as human furniture. “Having human furniture is all the rage among the super rich,” says New York socialite Beatrice Nooberstune. “You are nobody if you don’t have at…
Meltingclocktimes.com Offers Hillary Clinton $29.95 To Pose Nude (Originally published in spring 08 before she dropped out of the presidential race. After she dropped out we reduced our offer to $19.95.)Meltingclocktimes.com hereby announces that we will pay Hillary Clinton $29.95 to pose nude.
Scientist Discovers That Many People Who Appear To Be Alive Are Actually Dead A Person lies dead in a morgue and his finger nails and hair continue to grow. A chicken with his head cut off runs around. Scientists say electrical energy in nerves make it possible for a headless chicken to run around. But…
Frank Sinatra Still Alive! Seen With Elvis Presley Great news for music fans! The greatest crooner of them all, Frank Sinatra, is still alive. Numerous tourists saw the Chairman of the Board hanging out with Elvis Presley at his Graceland mansion—and one even got a photo (pictured here). Apparently his death was a rumor or…
A growing number of doctors and medical care experts have reached the conclusion that many patients who have died or are dying are not really sick or even dead, but that they suffer from a severe form of hypochondria. “The theory, which seems absurd at first, makes a lot of sense when you examine the…
MAFIOSO THUGS TERRORIZING “LOW CARB” RESTAURANTS Italian Food Lovers Say “Low Carb” Trend Is Terrorizing Good Food Restaurants in Italian sections of cities across America that have advertised “Low Carb” are getting windows broken out and thugs are beating up “low carb” chefs. Panic is sweeping through the restaurant industry. I called up my friend…
“The Person who does not read is at the same disadvantage as someone who cannot read.” –Mark Twain MCT is on a literacy campaign. Don’t be an ignorant illiterate who only looks at the pictures and scans the headlines. Read a whole article!
