Six New Conspiracy Theories

MCT Comes Up With Six New Conspiracy Theories

Why would anyone ruin these tomatoes by picking them too early?MCT will think you are nut if you believe in conspiracy theories about anything. In fact, we are sick of them and if the 9-11 conspiracy wackos continue with this BS as much as the Kennedy conspiracy assassination wackos our heads may explode. However, MCT has unearthed other possible conspiracy theories. Unlike the wacko conspiracy theories there is evidence for the following, and when you look at the facts these conspiracy theories look plausible. Here they are:

The Tomato Conspiracy Theory:
Who eats grocery store tomatoes that are picked green and shot with gas to turn them red? They are utterly tasteless. Here at MCT we only eat tomatoes that come the from the MCT mansion garden. In winter we don’t eat tomatoes. It is obvious that this tasteless tomato situation is a conspiracy by the home garden industry and possibly social do gooders who want people to eat fresh, healthy home grown food. The garden industry conspires to stock grocery stores with insipid produce so that people will buy gardening supplies– seeds, fertilizer, starts, etc.–and grow their own tomatoes.

The Wonder Bread Yeast and Flour Industry Conspiracy Theory:
Is the US the only country where so many stores sell bread that is not freshly baked? Who eats this terrible aerated, tasteless bread that is more like toilet paper, both in flavor and nutrition, than real bread. It is obvious: It is a conspiracy by the yeast and flour industry who will make more money if people bake bread at home. And with the crappy bread in grocery stores, and the ease in making home baked bread, (Check out the book, “Artisan Bread In 5 Min. A Day,”) it is a wonder why

anyone buys Wonder bread at all.

The Airline, European Tourism and Disney Suburbia Conspiracy Theory:
After WW II decimated Europe started rebuilding bombed out theaters and other buildings. Europeans rebuilt plazas, piazzas and city streets. Soon all over Europe vibrant, beautiful cities reappeared with mostly good architecture and life in the streets. Meanwhile, in America, that was left unscathed in WW II, people started a massive expansion of suburbia: Big box buildings with asphalt parking lagoons; depressing ugly suburban houses sprawled out for miles. Town centers went dead and strip malls and car jammed highways sprang up. It is obvious: If Americans had beautiful cites with good architecture and vibrant walkable streets would they spend money to go to Europe to visit such places? The disaster of suburbia was a plot by the airline industry to sell tickets to Americans longing walkable vibrant cities. If you live in a dispiriting depressing place you will surely want to take more vacations to far flung places to escape it. We also think European businessmen and Walt Disney were involved in this plot. Disneyland has a quaint car free vibrant main street. If American cities had streets like that would anyone pay money to go visit Disneyland? That is why Euro Disneyland was a failure in its first years and the only way Disneyland could get Europeans to visit was to start selling cheap alcohol.

The Night Club, Social Community Television Conspiracy Theory:
How many times have you heard the phrase, “500 channels and there is nothing on”? There is a reason why television is full of so much mindless crap. Social do-gooders who want people to get out and support their communities and night club owners have conspired to make terrible television so people will go out on the town. Like many of these conspirators they have not been very successful as many people amazingly continue to watch terrible television and movies at home. So every year they conspire to churn out even worse crap hoping that that will finally induce people to go out at night and spend money in town.

The Illegal Drug Cartel Television Conspiracy Theory:
What did kids do before TV if they were bored? They had to physically do something; they had to go out and find their friends and play sports or roam around the neighborhood. When television started in the 1950’s kids could change their state of mind simply by flicking a switch. Kids could be passive and not actively do anything to go into an altered state of mind of television entrancement. It is no accident that hippie drug generation was the first generation to grow up with TV. Flick a switch, change a channel and change your sate of mind. Flicking a switch easily got transferred to swallowing a pill or smoking something or injecting a needle. TV was training for drug usage. It is obvious that drug pushers and cartels conspired to train and condition people via television to change your state of mind without physically doing anything beyond a puff or a flick of a switch. While the drug cartels have been enormously successful with their TV training conspiracy–as there are millions of drug addicts in the world today–it is not as big as a success as you might think for this reason: People became so addicted to TV itself that it cut into the drug market profits.

The “New Country” Bad Radio Music Industry Conspiracy Theory:
Via the Internet there are thousands of radio stations you can listen to and more than 99% suck. Why is there so much terrible radio? It is obvious. For a long time record companies conspired to put terrible music on the radio so you would go out and buy records and CDs. They are still at it. If there is good Internet radio show or station that starts to attract a following the record companies will conspire to infiltrate it and make it mediocre.