Scientist Discovers That Many People Who Appear To Be Alive Are Actually Dead

Real life brain dead zombies do not look like the Night of the Living Dead movie depiction. To see what they look like just look at people on the streets.

A Person lies dead in a morgue and his finger nails and hair continue to grow. A chicken with his head cut off runs around. Scientists say electrical energy in nerves make it possible for a headless chicken to run around. But human nerve structure is much more complicated than in a chicken. Could a disease attack a human’s brain, or can an arterial blockage kill the higher functions of the brain and leave reptilian motor functions of the brain intact? Then suppose that electrical nerve impulses move muscles in the brain dead human that mimic higher brain functions? For example, speech or driving a car? These are questions being raised in a landmark study by Dr. Ziegfried Yoddlebucker. Dr. Yoddlebucker tested the brain waves in thousands of people and found that nothing is there in perhaps 50% of the population. Yoddlebucker has discovered, that remarkably, half the people in the United States may actually be dead even though they appear to be alive and functioning. Although Dr. Yoddlebucker’s findings are controversial many scientists conclude that it does explain a lot of behavior among people that does not seem to include thought.

Scientists have discovered that many activities do not require higher brain processes. People with severe brain damage can drive a car, go shopping or even

engage in small talk. According to brain physiologist Dr. Lester Grutinbult, “Many daily actives get imprinted in the lower reptilian core of the brain. It would not matter if even your entire neo-cortex (the outer brain that contains the circuitry for higher brain functions) was surgically removed. You could still perform many activities like small talk, menial repetitious labor, eating. Everyone is aware of doing things automatically that do not require thought.”

According to Dr. Yoddlebucker many people are only performing the routines of their lives that were imprinted in their reptilian inner brain—but the thing driving these repetitive tasks is not higher brain function but electrical energy stored in the nerves. This is the same energy that drives a headless chicken to run around. Many people are performing repetitious tasks, driving to work, cramming their faces with food without consciousness or intelligence. Electrical impulses stimulate these brain dead people to continue their brain dead activities for years. But no one thinks they are dead.

Dr. Yoddlebucker stated that, “Brain deadness among apparently alive people explains much human behavior that made no sense. For example, what explains the vast number of people sitting motionless in front of TV screens every night? Could a healthy mind tolerate such a couch potato lack of life? Sitting in front of a TV perhaps is just the thing suited for a brain dead individual whose electrical impulses subside after a day’s work. Or, What explains the terrible food people eat? Could it be that brain dead zombies pile things into shopping carts without thinking? They grab whatever is in front of them and automatically go to the check out line. Perhaps fast food restaurants have devised some way of attracting zombies. If working brains tasted Big Macs and Chicken McNuguts McDonald’s would go out of business. Why do people vote for such terrible politicians? I contend that many dead people are going into voting booths and punching the cards as an unconscious reflex action. It is obvious—there is no thinking involved.”

While Dr. Yoddlebucker and other scientists are startled at the preponderance of the evidence that there are millions of brain dead people in the United States, they are at loss as to the cause. “It could be poor nutrition,” speculated Dr. Yoddlebucker, “Perhaps the intense light of too much TV fried many peoples’ brains. Perhaps excess drug usage or a combination of many things.”

Yoddlebucker added, “While medicine hasn’t discovered the cause of this pervasive brain deadness in America, these people are physiologically identical to chickens with their heads cut off. The only difference is that the more complex nerve structure of humans enables reflex action eating. So brain dead humans can refuel the electrical energy in their nerves and keep their repetitive mindless activities going for years.”

One of the arguments that Dr. Yoddlebucker put forth to prove that there are so many brain dead people is the low number of book sales in America—as reading is an activity that encourages thinking. It is common knowledge that few Americans read books and few even read articles in newspapers and distinguished Internet publications like Meltingclocktimes.com. If you made it this far you probably are not brain dead. But according to Dr, Yoddlebucker, “Brain dead people do surf the Internet clicking their mice at random. It is not part of any intelligence –just electrical impulses responding randomly.”

If you are still skeptical Dr. Yoodlebucker and Meltingclocktimes.com devised a test in the poll below to demonstrate this.
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