Surgery Botch Up In Operating Room: Man Ends Up With Two Noses!

Chef Don Kahuna is not happy with his new nose.
Chef Don Kahuna is not happy with his new nose.
Don Kahuna, chef and owner of the famous Hula Huli Chicken restaurant in Springfield, Oregon was having problems with throat infections. (They were probably exacerbated by his yelling at his employees on how to cook chicken in his exacting way.) So on doctors recommendations he went into the hospital for a tonsillectomy. When he woke up in his hospital bed after the operation he felt something strange. He scratched his face and felt two noses. He went to the bathroom to look in the mirror. He saw two noses on his face! And to add insult his tonsils were still intact.

“Besides looking ridiculous everything smells twice as bad. Sure, it is OK when something smells good, but if someone farts

I get a double dose,” said Kahuna. “So, not only am I reporting this to the AMA, but I will be consulting with a lawyer and looking into suing the doctor who did this.”

The hospital where Kahuna had the botched tonsillectomy admits that they, “Made some errors,” but will not remove the nose unless Mr. Kahuna pays $10,000.00. Kahuna’s insurance will not cover the expenses.

A Doctor, who wished who spoke to us on the condition of anonymity, said, “What is the guy complaining about? A lot of people would love to have two noses. Flowers smell twice as sweet and you could probably get a good job as a wine taster. If anything he could use the two noses to his advantage—maybe to get a job as a freak in some sort of circus. We’re sorry we made the mistake. But we opened up many opportunities for Mr. Kahuna–and he wants to sue us?”

Kahuna lamented, “I am not looking forward to getting a cold or a hay fever attack. It will be twice as bad if the hospital doesn’t get this stupid thing off my face.”

A hospital spokesman said in response that an extra nose may be advantageous for allergy and cold sufferers, “While one nose is plugged up the other may provide a clear respiratory passage. Now that we have, by accident, discovered that two noses can work on a face perhaps many people may consider adding a nose to compliment breathing and as an unique cosmetic enhancement.”

Having two noses as an unique cosmetic accoutrement has received the attention of the fashion industry. Elont LaCush wrote in Fashion Trends Weekly, “In this age of zany tattoos, mutilated piercings, and cosmetic surgery as high art, coupled with growing sexual fetishism for noses, having two noses just may be the new fashion sensation of the season.”

Don Kahuna is not consoled by the fashion interest in a two nose face. Nor does he think much of the hospital and doctors who see two noses as positive thing. “This is ridiculous. They are crazy if they think it is a good thing to have two noses. People stare at me on the streets. I am getting a lawyer and I am suing the doctors and the hospital. If they think having two noses is so great why don’t they plaster another one onto their faces. I’ll donate one of mine along with a kick in their asses.”  {module 68}
 

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