Disgruntled Factory Worker Puts Super Glue In Condoms Thousands Of Couples Stuck Together Elmore McCowski, a disgruntled factory worker in the Sureon condom factory is now under arrest for putting super glue in thousands of packages of condoms in Hoboken, Oregon. Thousands of couples across the nation, who believed the condoms were lubricated, are stuck…
Millions of Americans’ Cars Are Glued To Their Asses No one really can explain how this happened. Some people theorize that these victims’ asses just melded with the car seats from being on them so much. Others think it involves some sort of toxic chemical that dissolved and attached itself to the victims’ asses. Many…
The MCT Health Care Plan That Will Save America & The Economy Here it is: The Four Step MCT Health Care Plan Step 1: No Public Health Care-and that includes Medicare-and Mandatory Private Health Insurance. The insurance industry is fighting to keep out the public plan so they can keep their profits. What is so…
Economic Stimulus Program At Work: Shop, Restaurant Owners & The Down & Out Wait For Goldman Sachs, Morgan Chase Millionaire Vacationers To Leave Big Tips Just about a year ago the economy really started collapsing. But Americans, while many have lost their jobs, their homes, have seen their retirement accounts shrink and their businesses slow…
Ground Breaking News! Treasury Department To Be Razed For New Super Walmart Last week we reported that the Treasury department is moving its offices into the Goldman Sachs headquarters and putting their building up for sale.(link) Now there is a buyer. Walmart officials and the General Services Administration, the government branch that deals with federal…
This article was originally published June 13, 2006. Another MCT article explains why this didn’t work out. Walmart will instead raze the Treasury Department and build the super center there. Read about it via this link. Ground Breaking News! Tuesday, June 13, 2006! White House To Be Razed For New Super Walmart Walmart officials and…
US Treasury Department Will Move Their Offices Into Goldman Sachs Building — Treasury Building To Be Mothballed In Cost Cutting Move It’s a win-win situation. The government is aggressively looking at ways to slash expenditures to cut the enormous deficit. What a way to make a start symbolically and literally. The government will cut the…
Pornography is a giant industry. Forty to fifty percent of all Internet traffic is devoted to pornography and there are sites featuring everything from midgets to women who pee. But with all kinds of wacky fetishes old hat people are looking for something new. The newest odd fetish to come out of the closet is…
Sarah Palin Killed Michael Jackson Normaly MCT does not cover trendy news items like TV gossip networks and other publications do. We are a serious publication devoted to covering more important topics like zombie infiltration, sexually perverted space aliens, chickens and botched nose jobs. But since we do cover noses we sent a correspondent to…
Multi-Racial, Multi-Ethnic Patriotic Couple Gives Birth To Red, White And Blue Baby His mother is half Irish and half American Indian. His father is half Mexican and half Italian. Her father is half black and half Chinese. Her mother is of Eastern European Jewish origin, part Japanese, and part hillbilly. This married couple is made…
Extraterrestrials Planting Bugs In Chickens Are chickens following you and hanging around to hear what you are talking about? You thought it was your imagination. Perhaps you thought again and reasoned, “Chickens following me around to hear what I might say? Absurd!” You are not the only one who has been wondering, “Why is that…
A new sport is sweeping the nation and the world: Live cat soccer. The game is played with a live cat instead of a ball & animal rights activists are outraged! Huge crowds are attending the matches and businessmen in several cities around the world are in intense talks about forming professional teams that could…
God Sends Johnny Cash To Play In Prison Hell Circuit No one has proved that there is an afterlife. However, people who proclaim they have recently had near death experiences and seance participants are reporting startling news: Johny Cash is now on a prison hell tour. Supposedly God sent Cash down to hell to give…
Restaurant With Disgusting Menu Turning Away Crowds Menu Items Include Unwashed Pig Anus, Mashed Donkey Brains, Savory Eye Balls, And Bull Penis Sautéed In Fish Guts Restaurants are suffering in the current economic crisis. Some restaurants have tried substituting cheap rotten ingredients for fresh expensive ones in the hope that lower prices will attract dinners….
Man Buys House And Discovers Everyone In His Neighborhood Are Zombies –MCT continues an ongoing investigation on zombie infiltration in America Elford Zeeberzocks got tired of the rat race in Seattle, Washington. So he cashed in on his overpriced house a few years ago and moved to the slower paced Hoboken, Oregon. Zeeberzocks thought Hoboken…
