Last Woman Who Had A Plastic Pink Flamingo In Yard And Was Not Joking Dies –But Bad Taste Is Still ThrivingThe generation born before WW II had terrible taste. Tuna casserole, fast food, suburbia, all are inventions of that generation. Plastic flowers, plastic floors and counters, were all non existent before these people existed. They have parted theirRead More!
Engineer Invents Perpetual Motion Machine With Beer Cans Pollution Free Technology Will Revolutionize The World Engineer Rufus Thornburt might not be a household name yet, but Thornburt and some alternative energy innovators believe one day he will be as rich and famous as Bill Gates. Rufus Thornburt has invented an innovative but simple way of producing electricity. ItRead More!
Outrageous New Fashion Craze: Displaying Dead Grandparents In The Living Room A new fashion craze is sweeping the nation. Fashion conscious people are displaying their dead grandparents in their living rooms. Many people are disgusted and appalled at the new fashion, and health authorities are warning people that having a rotting corpse in your house may be unhealthful.Read More!
Scientists Develop Dog With No Asshole Genetic Engineers Do It Again! Product Will Revolutionize The Pet Industry! Genetic scientists have done it again. Researchers at the Acme Genetics Corporation (Web site) have successfully produced dogs without assholes. “This will revolutionize the pet industry,” says Acme Genetics spokesman Ilvord Veganostrup. “Almost everyone loves dogs. But many people did notRead More!
Mad Scientist Puts Chemical In Water Supply That Will Turn Everyone In The Whole World Into Elvis Impersonators A high ranking FBI official has informed Meltingclocktimes.com that a fugitive mad scientist has developed a chemical, which he aims to put in the world wide water supply, that will make everyone believe they are Elvis Presley. Our secret sourceRead More!
Man Follows Shampoo Directions And Dies In Shower After Lathering, Rinsing And Repeating For Weeks No one had heard from Elbert Wingducker for weeks. Finally his sister broke into his house and found Elbert’s skeleton in the shower with a thick lather of shampoo on his head. Hundreds of empty shampoo bottles were strewn all over the bathroomRead More!
The Internet Is A Fucking Waste of Time Is your life better than it was fifteen years ago because we have the Internet now? Think about it. Isn’t it a giant waste of time? Sure, putting parasites like travel agents, stock brokers and newspaper classified advertising monopolies out of business is good. Sure, the wealth of information isRead More!
Short, Bald, Fat Guy In New Jersey Controls The World Some people go on about how the oil companies control everything. Others believe the CIA, or Goldman Sachs, or Dick Cheney, or Jews, or even Frank Sinatra (who is still alive) are pulling the strings and in charge of it all. Meltingclocktimes.com investigative reporters have discovered that HiemieRead More!
Man Trying To Break World’s Record By Singing “10,000,000 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall” Shot To Death By Wife “10,000,000 bottles of beer on the wall, 10,000,000 bottles of beer. Take one down and pass it around – 9,999,999 bottles of beer on the wall.” That is how it all started. It ended with Ester McKookleflap shootingRead More!
VW Hippie Van With Hippie Skeletons Collides Into International Space Station It is the most bizarre thing ever to occur in the history of humanity’s endeavors into space. Yesterday a psychedelic VW hippie van, with two long hair hippie skeletons, collided into the international space station. The hippie skeletons were outfitted with frazzled tie-dyed t-shirts and one skullRead More!
Astronaut Gets Sucked Through A Wormhole From Alternative Universe Where Apple Has A Monopoly On Computers But The Health-Care System Runs Well About a year ago we published an article, Alternative Universe Is Discovered That Is Exactly Like Earth Except Rock And Roll Is Unpopular And Polka Music Is The Rave. It was about astronaut Jeral Googorston’s experienceRead More!
Jehovah Witnesses And Mormons In Major Turf Wars Over Door to Door Trafficking Both the Mormon and Jehovah Witness religions are growing and it was inevitable that the two groups would clash on the streets. It’s getting ugly out there. Turf battles are erupting between Jehovah Witnesses and Mormons. Police in several cities across the nation have hadRead More!
Chickens & Other Birds Attacking Cell Phone Users! Bud Clampet is an Indiana farmer. Every once in a while Bud would jump in his pick up and visit Chester McFoulden who lives a half mile down the road. Last fall Bud got out of his truck and walked up to Chester who was sitting on his porch. “HowRead More!
US Medical Insurance Complex Cartel To Join Forces With OPEC A consortium of American doctors, the AMA, all the major health insurance companies, and pharmaceutical conglomerates are all grouping together and joining OPEC. An insurance company executive told MCT that, “The top level officials in the health-care industrial complex finally got together to take this action to protectRead More!
MCT Suggestions For Improving The Winter Olympics Even though we are big winter sports enthusiasts here at MCT we did not watch much of the winter Olympics. The MCT mansion in Hoboken, Oregon is just down the road from a fantastic ski area, Willamette Pass. So we are there often engaged in winter sports, not on our assesRead More!