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Recycled Toilet Paper—Questions Arise On How Toilet Paper Manufacturers Get The Shit Out Everywhere you look you see recycled products. Newspapers are made with recycled newspapers. Recycled bags in the grocery store, recycled paper towels. Meltingclocktimes.com salutes the paper industry’s endeavours to save trees by using recycled paper. But we have to draw the line…
The Dark Side Of The Internet: There Is A Growing Underworld Of People Publishing And Exchanging Photos Of Pet Poodles A Meltingclocktimes.com editorialRecently as I was surfing the web I accidentally hit on a random page and made a startling discovery. It is shocking and maybe you know something about it. There is an underworld…
Man Lets Out Hellacious Fart In Mexican Restaurant, 3 Dead It may have been the strongest human fart in recorded history and the results were tragic. A Hoboken, Oregon man, who was a long time sufferer of gas, let out a fart yesterday in a Mexican restaurant and killed three people. It must have been…
MCT wrote about Dr. Vivold Linquensha more than a year ago. (link) Not only did he make billions in biotechnology, but Linquensha foresaw the housing collapse and shorted banks in 2008. (Linquensha likes short things) Linquensha became one of the richest men in the world. And what is Linquensha doing with his wealth now? He…
MCT end of the decade prognostication for the next decade and beyond: Last updated in 2011 — But still relevant! –MCT prognostication for the next decade and beyond in the case civilization does not collapse. (So the predictions here may not happen.) You will never find a more absurd, bizarre, off the wall but at…
Stephen Montipoopleir of Paris, France has the world’s biggest nose. He works in the specialized field of perfume sampling. When perfume factories get batches of lavender or sarcophagus they need smellers to distinguish the good and bad batches. Motipoopleir’s nose is not only the biggest but it’s one of the best in the industry. Its…
College Students: You’d Be Better Off Getting Bums Off The Street To Educate You Rather Than Paying Outrageous Tuition We here at the MCT can’t understand why students aren’t rioting in the streets over the outrageous tuition costs. Some students are getting smart, quiting college and hiring winos and homeless bums for tutors who offer…
Life Is Rough For Man Named Ebakaneebervanderspunklemcdooodlefuch Smith How would you like to go through life when people you have known for years cannot even pronounce or remember your name? That’s how it is for Ebakaneebervanderspunklemcdooodlefuch Smith. Ebakaneebervanderspunklemcdooodlefuch Smith says his parents gave him his long unique name because the family has such a common…
Thieves across the nation are plaguing law enforcement officials and stealing noses. Many people look upon nose theft as comical, but it is no laughing matter to its many victims. An unfortunately typical senario beset a New York city man who wished to remain nameless. Last Monday a man broke into his apartment while he…
A MCT Public Service Campaign: Friends Don’t Let Friends…. Unless you’ve been in a cave for the last several years you have probably heard the phrase, “Friends don’t let friends drive drunk.” We at MCT thought if so many people are too stupid to know not to get plastered and race around in a car…
Startling New Scientific Discovery: –All men have a common ancestor who is the result of a cat fucking a sheep Scientists at a Hoboken, Oregon University have discovered evidence that man evolved from a mating of a sheep and a cat, not from apes. The evidence, which seems absurd at first and flies in the…
Vampire Tree Terrorizing Town Hoboken, Oregon has had a rough year. First their whipped cream factory exploded and buried the town under many feet of whipped cream killing hundreds of people. (link) Much of the town is still buried but got little attention due to bigger disasters in the gulf and Haiti. Then just last…
Vampires Go On Fast To Bolster Blood Supply In Town’s Hospitals Vampires are very active in parts of the country. Vampires in Hoboken, Oregon have been so active that local hospitals put out an alert that there is a blood shortage. “We put out the message to the media, the Red Cross, and other organizations…
Every year the Society For Ugly, Poor And Fat Men hold a convention. You are maybe wondering why there is such an organization and convention. Is it to help these guys out with strategies to overcome poverty and obesity? We asked several convention goers why they came. “I come to the convention for the women,”…
Dinosaurs Went Extinct Because They Were Gay Many paleontologists are coming to the conclusion that dinosaurs went extinct because they were gay. According to MIT scientist Dr. Irwin McCorynouat, “There is a growing body of paleontological evidence of widespread dinosaur homosexuality. Apparently many dinosaur species lack of interest in the opposite sex led to a…
