Other MCT BS

Is your life better than it was fifteen years ago because we have the Internet now? Think about it. Isn’t it a giant waste of time? Sure, putting parasites like travel agents, stock brokers and newspaper classified advertising monopolies out of business is good. Sure, the wealth of information is good. But mostly the Internet…

Some people go on about how the oil companies control everything. Others believe the CIA, or Goldman Sachs, or Dick Cheney, or Jews, or even Frank Sinatra (who is still alive) are pulling the strings and in charge of it all. Meltingclocktimes.com investigative reporters have discovered that Hiemie Smielsnucker, an unassuming, short, bald and fat…

Man Trying To Break World’s Record By Singing “10,000,000 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall” Shot To Death By Wife “10,000,000 bottles of beer on the wall, 10,000,000 bottles of beer. Take one down and pass it around – 9,999,999 bottles of beer on the wall.” That is how it all started. It ended with…

Jehovah Witnesses And Mormons In Major Turf Wars Over Door to Door Trafficking Both the Mormon and Jehovah Witness religions are growing and it was inevitable that the two groups would clash on the streets. It’s getting ugly out there. Turf battles are erupting between Jehovah Witnesses and Mormons. Police in several cities across the…

US Medical Insurance Complex Cartel To Join Forces With OPEC A consortium of American doctors, the AMA, all the major health insurance companies, and pharmaceutical conglomerates are all grouping together and joining OPEC. An insurance company executive told MCT that, “The top level officials in the health-care industrial complex finally got together to take this…

MCT Investigative Report: –And that includes you reader!MCT launched a thorough investigation that probed into the media, social and political life. We interviewed thousands of people, we scrutinized hundreds of media sources. We came to the inescapable conclusion that everyone in the US, without exception, is crazy. Are you from another country? Most likely you…

Tobacco Store Receives 10,000,000th Prince Albert In A Can Crank Call If you run a tobacco store one of the drawbacks is all the idiots who call every day and say, “Do you have Prince Albert in a can?” Bertold Humbucker is a third generation owner of New York’s Big Apple Pipe and Tobacco Shop….

Wall Street banking firms like Goldman Sachs are reporting record profits, thanks to back door bailouts, while the unemployment rate is at the highest in nearly thirty years. Recently, in a London Times article GS CEO Lloyd Blankfein said he was doing God’s work and that healthy banks were good for everyone. (link) This trickle…

Toilets Attempt Toilet Humor & Some Aren’t Laughing The Standard American Toilet Company has come out with a new hi-tech talking toilet that is causing a waterfall of controversy. Apparently wise guys in the factory programed the toilets to blurt out insults like; “Whew! Was that a big one!” or, “Whoa, that’s a stinker! If…

MCT Comes Up With Six New Conspiracy Theories MCT will think you are nut if you believe in conspiracy theories about anything. In fact, we are sick of them and if the 9-11 conspiracy wackos continue with this BS as much as the Kennedy conspiracy assassination wackos our heads may explode. However, MCT has unearthed…

Disgruntled Factory Worker Puts Super Glue In Condoms Thousands Of Couples Stuck Together Elmore McCowski, a disgruntled factory worker in the Sureon condom factory is now under arrest for putting super glue in thousands of packages of condoms in Hoboken, Oregon. Thousands of couples across the nation, who believed the condoms were lubricated, are stuck…

Millions of Americans’ Cars Are Glued To Their Asses No one really can explain how this happened. Some people theorize that these victims’ asses just melded with the car seats from being on them so much. Others think it involves some sort of toxic chemical that dissolved and attached itself to the victims’ asses. Many…

The MCT Health Care Plan That Will Save America & The Economy Here it is: The Four Step MCT Health Care Plan Step 1: No Public Health Care-and that includes Medicare-and Mandatory Private Health Insurance. The insurance industry is fighting to keep out the public plan so they can keep their profits. What is so…

Economic Stimulus Program At Work: Shop, Restaurant Owners & The Down & Out Wait For Goldman Sachs, Morgan Chase Millionaire Vacationers To Leave Big Tips Just about a year ago the economy really started collapsing. But Americans, while many have lost their jobs, their homes, have seen their retirement accounts shrink and their businesses slow…