Other MCT BS
College Students would be better off getting bums to teach ’em
College Students: You’d Be Better Off Getting Bums Off The Street To Educate You Rather Than Paying Outrageous Tuition We here at the MCT can’t understand why students aren’t rioting in the streets over the outrageous tuition costs. Some students are getting smart, quiting college and hiring winos and homeless bums for tutors who offer…
Life Is Rough For Man Named Ebakaneebervanderspunklemcdooodlefuch Smith
Life Is Rough For Man Named Ebakaneebervanderspunklemcdooodlefuch Smith How would you like to go through life when people you have known for years cannot even pronounce or remember your name? That’s how it is for Ebakaneebervanderspunklemcdooodlefuch Smith. Ebakaneebervanderspunklemcdooodlefuch Smith says his parents gave him his long unique name because the family has such a common…
Friends Don’t Let Friends
A MCT Public Service Campaign: Friends Don’t Let Friends…. Unless you’ve been in a cave for the last several years you have probably heard the phrase, “Friends don’t let friends drive drunk.” We at MCT thought if so many people are too stupid to know not to get plastered and race around in a car…
Man Did Not Evolve From Apes, Mankind Evolved From A Cat Who Fucked A Sheep
Startling New Scientific Discovery: –All men have a common ancestor who is the result of a cat fucking a sheep Scientists at a Hoboken, Oregon University have discovered evidence that man evolved from a mating of a sheep and a cat, not from apes. The evidence, which seems absurd at first and flies in the…
Annual Ugly, Poor and Fat Men Convention Swarming With Groupies
Every year the Society For Ugly, Poor And Fat Men hold a convention. You are maybe wondering why there is such an organization and convention. Is it to help these guys out with strategies to overcome poverty and obesity? We asked several convention goers why they came. “I come to the convention for the women,”…
Dinosaurs Went Extinct Because They Were Gay
Dinosaurs Went Extinct Because They Were Gay Many paleontologists are coming to the conclusion that dinosaurs went extinct because they were gay. According to MIT scientist Dr. Irwin McCorynouat, “There is a growing body of paleontological evidence of widespread dinosaur homosexuality. Apparently many dinosaur species lack of interest in the opposite sex led to a…
BP Executive Has Personal Crisis Unrelated To Gulf Oil Spill That Has Slowed Down Plugging The Horizon Well
BP Executive Has Personal Crisis Unrelated To Gulf Oil Spill That Has Slowed Down Plugging The Horizon Well A BP Vice President who normally would have been in command in rectifying the huge disaster in the Gulf of Mexico was too occupied with personal tragedy and left BP unprepared to deal with the Horizon oil…
Last Woman Who Had A Plastic Pink Flamingo In Yard And Was Not Joking Dies
Last Woman Who Had A Plastic Pink Flamingo In Yard And Was Not Joking Dies –But Bad Taste Is Still ThrivingThe generation born before WW II had terrible taste. Tuna casserole, fast food, suburbia, all are inventions of that generation. Plastic flowers, plastic floors and counters, were all non existent before these people existed. They…
Engineer Invents Perpetual Motion Machine With Beer Cans
Engineer Invents Perpetual Motion Machine With Beer Cans Pollution Free Technology Will Revolutionize The World Engineer Rufus Thornburt might not be a household name yet, but Thornburt and some alternative energy innovators believe one day he will be as rich and famous as Bill Gates. Rufus Thornburt has invented an innovative but simple way of…
Outrageous New Fashion Craze: Displaying Dead Grandparents In The Living Room
Outrageous New Fashion Craze: Displaying Dead Grandparents In The Living Room A new fashion craze is sweeping the nation. Fashion conscious people are displaying their dead grandparents in their living rooms. Many people are disgusted and appalled at the new fashion, and health authorities are warning people that having a rotting corpse in your house…
Scientists Develop Dog With No Asshole
Genetic Engineers Do It Again! Product Will Revolutionize The Pet Industry! Genetic scientists have done it again. Researchers at the Acme Genetics Corporation (Web site) have successfully produced dogs without assholes. “This will revolutionize the pet industry,” says Acme Genetics spokesman Ilvord Veganostrup. “Almost everyone loves dogs. But many people did not want to own…
Mad Scientist Puts Chemical In Water Supply That Will Turn Everyone In The Whole World Into Elvis Impersonators
These Elvis impersonators actually believe that they are me!
Man Follows Shampoo Directions And Dies In Shower After Lathering, Rinsing And Repeating For Weeks
No one had heard from Elbert Wingducker for weeks. Finally his sister broke into his house and found Elbert’s skeleton in the shower with a thick lather of shampoo on his head. Hundreds of empty shampoo bottles were strewn all over the bathroom floor. Apparently Elbert Wingducker was a man who took things too literally….
The Internet Is A Fucking Waste Of Time
Is your life better than it was fifteen years ago because we have the Internet now? Think about it. Isn’t it a giant waste of time? Sure, putting parasites like travel agents, stock brokers and newspaper classified advertising monopolies out of business is good. Sure, the wealth of information is good. But mostly the Internet…
Short, Bald, Fat Guy Controls The World
Some people go on about how the oil companies control everything. Others believe the CIA, or Goldman Sachs, or Dick Cheney, or Jews, or even Frank Sinatra (who is still alive) are pulling the strings and in charge of it all. Meltingclocktimes.com investigative reporters have discovered that Hiemie Smielsnucker, an unassuming, short, bald and fat…