Chickens & Other Birds Attacking Cell Phone Users! Bud Clampet is an Indiana farmer. Every once in a while Bud would jump in his pick up and visit Chester McFoulden who lives a half mile down the road. Last fall Bud got out of his truck and walked up to Chester who was sitting on…
The Next Big Thing That Will Pull The World Out Of The Economic Crisis: Dwarf Tossing! There are cultural phenomenas and inventions that come about that change the world forever. The gun, the printing press, the airplane, rock and roll, electricity and the Internet all impacted the world beyond measure. These phenomenas had huge economic…
MCT tells it like it is! -And if you think it isn’t like we tell it you don’t know what it is.
Aliens Give Up On Plot To Take Over Earth Because, “Earthlings All Look Alike“ -It would be “too confusing” for the aliens Imagine our shock when the creature pictured on the right walked into our offices here at MCT. As you can see he has three noses and ears, four eyes and two mouths. His…
Artista Violetta Fadda Mostra Al Mondo Arte Vera Un Meltingclocktimes.com Profilo Biografico(Click here for the English version.)
The Forgotten Civilization of Pacificus THAT GOT DESTROYED BY Buying Useless Crap Famed archaeologist Alberto Ziieegerstien tells about his discovery of the ruins of Pacificus and how it relates to the present economic crisis It was 1958. I was a young archaeologist looking to make my mark. So I set sail for the island of…
A growing number of doctors and medical care experts have reached the conclusion that many patients who have died or are dying are not really sick or even dead, but that they suffer from a severe form of hypochondria. “The theory, which seems absurd at first, makes a lot of sense when you examine the…
Scientist Discovers That Many People Who Appear To Be Alive Are Actually Dead A Person lies dead in a morgue and his finger nails and hair continue to grow. A chicken with his head cut off runs around. Scientists say electrical energy in nerves make it possible for a headless chicken to run around. But…
College Students: You’d Be Better Off Getting Bums Off The Street To Educate You Rather Than Paying Outrageous Tuition We here at the MCT can’t understand why students aren’t rioting in the streets over the outrageous tuition costs. Some students are getting smart, quiting college and hiring winos and homeless bums for tutors who offer…
“I credit MCT’s hard hitting journalism for preventing war and fostering understanding among peoples” –Elbert Zinous, Head Custodian of Hoboken, Oregon Elementary School no. 3
Economic Stimulus Program At Work: Shop, Restaurant Owners & The Down & Out Wait For Goldman Sachs, Morgan Chase Millionaire Vacationers To Leave Big Tips Just about a year ago the economy really started collapsing. But Americans, while many have lost their jobs, their homes, have seen their retirement accounts shrink and their businesses slow…
We have no tree wasting print edition. So you cannot use our publication for toilet paper. MCT–unlike The NY Times–is only for reading!
Engineer Invents Perpetual Motion Machine With Beer Cans Pollution Free Technology Will Revolutionize The World Engineer Rufus Thornburt might not be a household name yet, but Thornburt and some alternative energy innovators believe one day he will be as rich and famous as Bill Gates. Rufus Thornburt has invented an innovative but simple way of…
Extraterrestrials Planting Bugs In Chickens Are chickens following you and hanging around to hear what you are talking about? You thought it was your imagination. Perhaps you thought again and reasoned, “Chickens following me around to hear what I might say? Absurd!” You are not the only one who has been wondering, “Why is that…
“The Person who does not read is at the same disadvantage as someone who cannot read.” –Mark Twain MCT is on a literacy campaign. Don’t be an ignorant illiterate who only looks at the pictures and scans the headlines. Read a whole article!
