Word Mix-up Disease Afflicting Millions Have you ever thought, “The birds are blooming, the sky is singing, the flowers are blue and yet something is wrong?” Everything seems right and going beautiful but still everyone dislikes you. You may be the victim of a discovered newly disorder called, “Word Mix-up Disease.” According to psychiatrist Dr….
These Elvis impersonators actually believe that they are me!
Gay Population Skyrocketing Due To Vampire Aversion Vampires have been avoiding gays for fear of contacting the AIDS virus for 20 years. Up until the mid 90’s the gay population decreased due to fatalities from the AIDS virus. According to Census Bureau statisticians two factors have changed death demographics for gays. One is anti viral…
Economic Stimulus Program At Work: Shop, Restaurant Owners & The Down & Out Wait For Goldman Sachs, Morgan Chase Millionaire Vacationers To Leave Big Tips Just about a year ago the economy really started collapsing. But Americans, while many have lost their jobs, their homes, have seen their retirement accounts shrink and their businesses slow…
Chickens & Other Birds Attacking Cell Phone Users! Bud Clampet is an Indiana farmer. Every once in a while Bud would jump in his pick up and visit Chester McFoulden who lives a half mile down the road. Last fall Bud got out of his truck and walked up to Chester who was sitting on…
What the hell is the Meltingclocktimes.com? Meltingclocktimes.com is a leading internet publication read by world leaders, top corporate CEOs and losers like yourself. No other publication offers such intellectually stimulating news on diverse topics like, botched nose jobs, sexually perverted space aliens, and mutating tomatoes and chickens. While other publications may have Elvis sightings news…
The Forgotten Civilization of Pacificus THAT GOT DESTROYED BY Buying Useless Crap Famed archaeologist Alberto Ziieegerstien tells about his discovery of the ruins of Pacificus and how it relates to the present economic crisis It was 1958. I was a young archaeologist looking to make my mark. So I set sail for the island of…
Artificial Intelligence, revolution, or bubble? Mania or excitement for positive change? Exaggeration or witness to a brave new world? Blind rosy hype hope or inability to see plateaus, diminished returns on investment, or things not turning out like expected, bottlenecks, the unforeseen. But AI is already an amazing tool. And woe to those who do…
Every year the Society For Ugly, Poor And Fat Men hold a convention. You are maybe wondering why there is such an organization and convention. Is it to help these guys out with strategies to overcome poverty and obesity? We asked several convention goers why they came. “I come to the convention for the women,”…
Multi-Racial, Multi-Ethnic Patriotic Couple Gives Birth To Red, White And Blue Baby His mother is half Irish and half American Indian. His father is half Mexican and half Italian. Her father is half black and half Chinese. Her mother is of Eastern European Jewish origin, part Japanese, and part hillbilly. This married couple is made…
A growing number of doctors and medical care experts have reached the conclusion that many patients who have died or are dying are not really sick or even dead, but that they suffer from a severe form of hypochondria. “The theory, which seems absurd at first, makes a lot of sense when you examine the…
Outrageous New Fashion Craze: Displaying Dead Grandparents In The Living Room A new fashion craze is sweeping the nation. Fashion conscious people are displaying their dead grandparents in their living rooms. Many people are disgusted and appalled at the new fashion, and health authorities are warning people that having a rotting corpse in your house…
Hippiedom is not a throwback from the sixties, but a thriving subculture that the giant annual hippie convention, convening today in Hoboken, Oregon is making evident. Thousands of dread-locked, tie-dyed enthusiasts from hippie enclaves all over the US and abroad are already swarming the Hoboken streets. Conventioneer Freedombear Dingbouts, hitchhiked from San Fransisco and said,…
–MCT continues its ongoing investigation into zombie infiltration in America Years ago movies, like Night of The Living Dead, showed what may have been actually based on fact: People in towns across America became brain dead and aimlessly wandered around in search of human flesh to eat. The US military entered these towns and eradicated…
