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Vampire Tree Terrorizing Town Hoboken, Oregon has had a rough year. First their whipped cream factory exploded and buried the town under many feet of whipped cream killing hundreds of people. (link) Much of the town is still buried but got little attention due to bigger disasters in the gulf and Haiti. Then just last…
Frank Sinatra Still Alive! Seen With Elvis Presley Great news for music fans! The greatest crooner of them all, Frank Sinatra, is still alive. Numerous tourists saw the Chairman of the Board hanging out with Elvis Presley at his Graceland mansion—and one even got a photo (pictured here). Apparently his death was a rumor or…
Osama Bin Laden Signs Multi Million Dollar Endorsement Deal With Nike Meltingclocktimes.com has learned that the Nike shoe company is starting a new advertising campaign with Osama Bin Laden. Through our secret sources we were able to see the new TV shot with Bin Laden. Bin Laden is crouched on a rock and says in…
A new virus is sweeping the nation and thousands of people have been infected. This virus does not make people sick, but the virus makes people believe they are orthodox Jewish rabbis. Justervod Elsap was a normal guy who watched football, drank beer and worked in a hardware store in Chicago. Last Tuesday he woke…
MAFIOSO THUGS TERRORIZING “LOW CARB” RESTAURANTS Italian Food Lovers Say “Low Carb” Trend Is Terrorizing Good Food Restaurants in Italian sections of cities across America that have advertised “Low Carb” are getting windows broken out and thugs are beating up “low carb” chefs. Panic is sweeping through the restaurant industry. I called up my friend…
Edwin Tomato says his family has had the name “Tomato” for centuries and all farmers and produce dealers owe him and his family back royalties for using his family name for their food product. “There is no evidence that any of my ancestors gave any farmer the right to use our name with the vegetable…
Man Returns From Hell With Horrifying Report Did the devil get drunk and mess up? Last week after doctors pronounced Jelbert McKoondlefart dead he woke up. He had been dead for three days and then rose up in a mortuary just as a undertaker was about to cremate him. But the amazing thing that is…
MCT Investigative Report: –And that includes you reader!MCT launched a thorough investigation that probed into the media, social and political life. We interviewed thousands of people, we scrutinized hundreds of media sources. We came to the inescapable conclusion that everyone in the US, without exception, is crazy. Are you from another country? Most likely you…
A new sport is sweeping the nation. Skydivers are jumping out of planes without parachutes. They are attaching themselves to a string of live turkeys. Apparently the turkeys go nuts and flap their wings and act as a parachute. And with live turkeys going for less than a dollar a pound it costs a lot…
