MCT tells it
MCT tells it like it is! -And if you think it isn’t like we tell it you don’t know what it is.
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The MCT Health Care Plan That Will Save America & The Economy
The MCT Health Care Plan That Will Save America & The Economy Here it is: The Four Step MCT Health Care Plan Step 1: No Public Health Care-and that includes Medicare-and Mandatory Private Health Insurance. The insurance industry is fighting to keep out the public plan so they can keep their profits. What is so…
Treasury Department To Be Razed For New Super Walmart
Ground Breaking News! Treasury Department To Be Razed For New Super Walmart Last week we reported that the Treasury department is moving its offices into the Goldman Sachs headquarters and putting their building up for sale.(link) Now there is a buyer. Walmart officials and the General Services Administration, the government branch that deals with federal…
Fortune five read MCT
Many Fortune 500 CEOs read MCTs for a unique perspective — Perhaps that’s why the world’s so fucked up.
Engineer Invents Perpetual Motion Machine With Beer Cans
Engineer Invents Perpetual Motion Machine With Beer Cans Pollution Free Technology Will Revolutionize The World Engineer Rufus Thornburt might not be a household name yet, but Thornburt and some alternative energy innovators believe one day he will be as rich and famous as Bill Gates. Rufus Thornburt has invented an innovative but simple way of…
Transplanting Goat Stomachs Into Poor People May End Hunger
An End To World Hunger? Surgeon Transplants Goat Stomachs Into Poor People So They Can Eat Grass A prominent surgeon from the Hoboken, Oregon Medical Institute, Dr. Midros Hienzmucker has perfected a revolutionary way of ending world hunger. Dr. Hienzmucker crafted an operation that transplants a goat stomach into a human stomach. The human recipient…
Short, Bald, Fat Guy Controls The World
Some people go on about how the oil companies control everything. Others believe the CIA, or Goldman Sachs, or Dick Cheney, or Jews, or even Frank Sinatra (who is still alive) are pulling the strings and in charge of it all. Meltingclocktimes.com investigative reporters have discovered that Hiemie Smielsnucker, an unassuming, short, bald and fat…
MCT no tree waste
We have no tree wasting print edition. So you cannot use our publication for toilet paper. MCT–unlike The NY Times–is only for reading!
College Students would be better off getting bums to teach ’em
College Students: You’d Be Better Off Getting Bums Off The Street To Educate You Rather Than Paying Outrageous Tuition We here at the MCT can’t understand why students aren’t rioting in the streets over the outrageous tuition costs. Some students are getting smart, quiting college and hiring winos and homeless bums for tutors who offer…
Hospital Mess Up: Sex Change Patient Mixed Up With Nose Job Patient
Unfortunately doctors sometimes mess up. One recent medical screw up is causing a controversy. In a Hoboken, Oregon hospital surgeons mixed up a nose job patient and a sex change patient. The sex change patient ended up with a nose in-between his or her legs. The nose job patient ended up with a vagina-like creation…
Idiot Convention
Hoboken, Oregon Divided On Hosting Idiot Convention The Hoboken, Oregon Convention Bureau doesn’t even do good business in the summer. The town is far from anywhere. In winter when it is rainy and snowy no one comes. That is, until last year when the International Association Of Idiots decided to host its annual March convention…
Last Woman Who Had A Plastic Pink Flamingo In Yard And Was Not Joking Dies
Last Woman Who Had A Plastic Pink Flamingo In Yard And Was Not Joking Dies –But Bad Taste Is Still ThrivingThe generation born before WW II had terrible taste. Tuna casserole, fast food, suburbia, all are inventions of that generation. Plastic flowers, plastic floors and counters, were all non existent before these people existed. They…
Literacy campaign
“The Person who does not read is at the same disadvantage as someone who cannot read.” –Mark Twain MCT is on a literacy campaign. Don’t be an ignorant illiterate who only looks at the pictures and scans the headlines. Read a whole article!
About Meltingclocktimes.com!
Have you ever got a junk mail ad for a magazine? MCT advocates the death penalty for spammers and junk mailers. But if we sent a bulk advertisement out like those you used to get before the Internet got big it would be like this: Where do intelligent and inquisitive readers like yourself go to…
Disgruntled Factory Worker Puts Super Glue In Condoms
Disgruntled Factory Worker Puts Super Glue In Condoms Thousands Of Couples Stuck Together Elmore McCowski, a disgruntled factory worker in the Sureon condom factory is now under arrest for putting super glue in thousands of packages of condoms in Hoboken, Oregon. Thousands of couples across the nation, who believed the condoms were lubricated, are stuck…