Whipped Cream Factory Explodes, Entire Town Buried Under Whipped Cream
Whipped Cream Factory Explodes, Entire Town Buried Under Whipped Cream Hundreds feared dead It was a typical American town, with tract homes, a shopping mall, fast food chains, a Walmart surrounded by a huge parking lot and a dead down town. One thing that was unique in Hoboken, Oregon was the Acme whipped cream factory….
Osama Bin Laden Signs Endorsement Deal With Nike
Osama Bin Laden Signs Multi Million Dollar Endorsement Deal With Nike Meltingclocktimes.com has learned that the Nike shoe company is starting a new advertising campaign with Osama Bin Laden. Through our secret sources we were able to see the new TV shot with Bin Laden. Bin Laden is crouched on a rock and says in…
FRANK SINATRA IS ALIVE! SEEN WITH ELVIS
Frank Sinatra Still Alive! Seen With Elvis Presley Great news for music fans! The greatest crooner of them all, Frank Sinatra, is still alive. Numerous tourists saw the Chairman of the Board hanging out with Elvis Presley at his Graceland mansion—and one even got a photo (pictured here). Apparently his death was a rumor or…
New Sport Craze: Live Cat Soccer
A new sport is sweeping the nation and the world: Live cat soccer. The game is played with a live cat instead of a ball & animal rights activists are outraged! Huge crowds are attending the matches and businessmen in several cities around the world are in intense talks about forming professional teams that could…
Man Lets His Kid Smoke, & He Is A Much Better Parent Than You!
Occasionally, after dinner I like to smoke a cigar. So the other day at a restaurant I went outside to a smoking area. Another customer came and lit a cigarette. 2 others were already there. A little guy who looked up and said, “Look Dad!” And blew some smoke rings into the air. “Pretty good!”…
US Medical Insurance Complex Cartel To Join Forces With OPEC
US Medical Insurance Complex Cartel To Join Forces With OPEC A consortium of American doctors, the AMA, all the major health insurance companies, and pharmaceutical conglomerates are all grouping together and joining OPEC. An insurance company executive told MCT that, “The top level officials in the health-care industrial complex finally got together to take this…
Psychologist Argues In Provocative Book That Dog Owners Are Clinically Insane
Dog Breaking News! Now think of this. I am a hairy guy. I will be coming to live at your house. I won’t ever use the bathroom except to drink out of the toilet. I’ll get my hair all over and smell bad. But the worst thing about my stay at your house is that…
The Russian Nurse
–If it doesn’t show as free on Amazon –it’s free here: Russian Nurse, Smashwords version .. So read it for free & please leave a review on Amazon.. The Russian Nurse, by Brian Friedkin is now available on Amazon.com!Click the links for more info about the short story and to read it! You can get…
MCT Offers $500 To Anyone Who Invents A Device That Destroys Answering Machines
MCT Offers $500 To Anyone Who Invents A Device That Destroys Answering Machines Here is the situation: You call someone and a recorded answering machine voice says, “You have reached 555-1234 ….” I just dialed the fucking number so why do all you people have to let me know it again? Then the voice continues…….
Eating Tomatoes Declared Illegal Due To Trademark Infringement
Edwin Tomato says his family has had the name “Tomato” for centuries and all farmers and produce dealers owe him and his family back royalties for using his family name for their food product. “There is no evidence that any of my ancestors gave any farmer the right to use our name with the vegetable…
The Forgotten Civilization That Got Destroyed By Buying Useless Crap
The Forgotten Civilization of Pacificus THAT GOT DESTROYED BY Buying Useless Crap Famed archaeologist Alberto Ziieegerstien tells about his discovery of the ruins of Pacificus and how it relates to the present economic crisis It was 1958. I was a young archaeologist looking to make my mark. So I set sail for the island of…
Perverts Molesting Vacuum Cleaners, A Growing Problem For Appliance Stores And Law Enforcement Agencies
A growing problem is terrorizing appliance stores that sell vacuum cleaners and bogging down law enforcement agencies across the country. Perverts are breaking into appliance stores and molesting vacuum cleaners by the hundreds. “The problem is on the rise,” according to Chicago police Sargent Victor Nedrosky. “It used to be sexy vacuum cleaners could live…
New Oddball Crime Wave: Burglars Stealing Noses
Thieves across the nation are plaguing law enforcement officials and stealing noses. Many people look upon nose theft as comical, but it is no laughing matter to its many victims. An unfortunately typical senario beset a New York city man who wished to remain nameless. Last Monday a man broke into his apartment while he…
Outrageous New Fashion Craze: Displaying Dead Grandparents In The Living Room
Outrageous New Fashion Craze: Displaying Dead Grandparents In The Living Room A new fashion craze is sweeping the nation. Fashion conscious people are displaying their dead grandparents in their living rooms. Many people are disgusted and appalled at the new fashion, and health authorities are warning people that having a rotting corpse in your house…