Zip PT Zoingzoing’s Adventures In Outer Space Paperback Edition Now Out
Zip PT Zoingzoing’s Adventures In Outer Space is now available in paperback as well as an ebook via Amazon. Click the links to check it out…
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Chickens Attacking Cell Phone Users
Chickens & Other Birds Attacking Cell Phone Users! Bud Clampet is an Indiana farmer. Every once in a while Bud would jump in his pick up and visit Chester McFoulden who lives a half mile down the road. Last fall Bud got out of his truck and walked up to Chester who was sitting on…
Tobacco Store Receives 10,000,000th Prince Albert In A Can Crank Call
Tobacco Store Receives 10,000,000th Prince Albert In A Can Crank Call If you run a tobacco store one of the drawbacks is all the idiots who call every day and say, “Do you have Prince Albert in a can?” Bertold Humbucker is a third generation owner of New York’s Big Apple Pipe and Tobacco Shop….
Annual Ugly, Poor and Fat Men Convention Swarming With Groupies
Every year the Society For Ugly, Poor And Fat Men hold a convention. You are maybe wondering why there is such an organization and convention. Is it to help these guys out with strategies to overcome poverty and obesity? We asked several convention goers why they came. “I come to the convention for the women,”…
MCT no tree waste
We have no tree wasting print edition. So you cannot use our publication for toilet paper. MCT–unlike The NY Times–is only for reading!
Sarah Palin Killed Michael Jackson
Sarah Palin Killed Michael Jackson Normaly MCT does not cover trendy news items like TV gossip networks and other publications do. We are a serious publication devoted to covering more important topics like zombie infiltration, sexually perverted space aliens, chickens and botched nose jobs. But since we do cover noses we sent a correspondent to…
Zombie Infiltration In America Reaching Epidemic Proportions Due To A New Breed Of Mostly Vegetarian Zombie
–MCT continues its ongoing investigation into zombie infiltration in America Years ago movies, like Night of The Living Dead, showed what may have been actually based on fact: People in towns across America became brain dead and aimlessly wandered around in search of human flesh to eat. The US military entered these towns and eradicated…
New Talking Toilet Offending Users
Toilets Attempt Toilet Humor & Some Aren’t Laughing The Standard American Toilet Company has come out with a new hi-tech talking toilet that is causing a waterfall of controversy. Apparently wise guys in the factory programed the toilets to blurt out insults like; “Whew! Was that a big one!” or, “Whoa, that’s a stinker! If…
A Point About Price-Points I Want To Point Out!
If you read my book or articles here, you will find clear, concise, readable language without excess verbiage. This stems from history’s great writers, the King James Bible translators, Daniel Defoe, Shakespeare, who brought into English, bold, clear words and cut excess verbiage. A period of 19th-century English literature had flowery, ornate language. But this…
US Treasury Department Will Move Their Offices Into Goldman Sachs Building
US Treasury Department Will Move Their Offices Into Goldman Sachs Building — Treasury Building To Be Mothballed In Cost Cutting Move It’s a win-win situation. The government is aggressively looking at ways to slash expenditures to cut the enormous deficit. What a way to make a start symbolically and literally. The government will cut the…
Perverts Molesting Vacuum Cleaners, A Growing Problem For Appliance Stores And Law Enforcement Agencies
A growing problem is terrorizing appliance stores that sell vacuum cleaners and bogging down law enforcement agencies across the country. Perverts are breaking into appliance stores and molesting vacuum cleaners by the hundreds. “The problem is on the rise,” according to Chicago police Sargent Victor Nedrosky. “It used to be sexy vacuum cleaners could live…
Multi-Racial, Multi-Ethnic Patriotic Couple Gives Birth To Red, White And Blue Baby
Multi-Racial, Multi-Ethnic Patriotic Couple Gives Birth To Red, White And Blue Baby His mother is half Irish and half American Indian. His father is half Mexican and half Italian. Her father is half black and half Chinese. Her mother is of Eastern European Jewish origin, part Japanese, and part hillbilly. This married couple is made…
About Meltingclocktimes.com!
Have you ever got a junk mail ad for a magazine? MCT advocates the death penalty for spammers and junk mailers. But if we sent a bulk advertisement out like those you used to get before the Internet got big it would be like this: Where do intelligent and inquisitive readers like yourself go to…
Engineer Invents Perpetual Motion Machine With Beer Cans
Engineer Invents Perpetual Motion Machine With Beer Cans Pollution Free Technology Will Revolutionize The World Engineer Rufus Thornburt might not be a household name yet, but Thornburt and some alternative energy innovators believe one day he will be as rich and famous as Bill Gates. Rufus Thornburt has invented an innovative but simple way of…
Hey Wanna Be Billionaire Space Travelers!
Been there! Done it! & Zoingzoing didn’t waste billions [like you already, Mr. Musk, Mr. Bezos!] just to go to a crappy nearby desert planet like Mars. Blast off reading about Zoingzoing’s galactic travels with a spaceship powered with shit! You’ll discover the only thing Zoingzoing has in common with other Sci-fi & the space billionaires…