It used to be that a magazine like Playboy publishing pictures of a woman’s tits would outrage people. Four or five years ago Janet Jackson exposed her breast during the Super Bowl half time show and caused a controversy. But we wonder if anyone would notice if she did it now –just a few years…
This article was originally published June 13, 2006. Another MCT article explains why this didn’t work out. Walmart will instead raze the Treasury Department and build the super center there. Read about it via this link. Ground Breaking News! Tuesday, June 13, 2006! White House To Be Razed For New Super Walmart Walmart officials and…
Google Attempts To Censor Meltingclocktimes.com Has Google Jumped The Shark? & Is It Turning Into Just Another Giant Bureaucratic Quagmire Bullshit Corporation? If you have been on MCT before you may have noticed there were Google ads on the left column that are not there anymore. In fact, don’t you think the site looks better…
A growing problem is terrorizing appliance stores that sell vacuum cleaners and bogging down law enforcement agencies across the country. Perverts are breaking into appliance stores and molesting vacuum cleaners by the hundreds. “The problem is on the rise,” according to Chicago police Sargent Victor Nedrosky. “It used to be sexy vacuum cleaners could live…
Multi-Racial, Multi-Ethnic Patriotic Couple Gives Birth To Red, White And Blue Baby His mother is half Irish and half American Indian. His father is half Mexican and half Italian. Her father is half black and half Chinese. Her mother is of Eastern European Jewish origin, part Japanese, and part hillbilly. This married couple is made…
MCT Comes Up With Six New Conspiracy Theories MCT will think you are nut if you believe in conspiracy theories about anything. In fact, we are sick of them and if the 9-11 conspiracy wackos continue with this BS as much as the Kennedy conspiracy assassination wackos our heads may explode. However, MCT has unearthed…
Extraterrestrials Planting Bugs In Chickens Are chickens following you and hanging around to hear what you are talking about? You thought it was your imagination. Perhaps you thought again and reasoned, “Chickens following me around to hear what I might say? Absurd!” You are not the only one who has been wondering, “Why is that…
Man Returns From Hell With Horrifying Report Did the devil get drunk and mess up? Last week after doctors pronounced Jelbert McKoondlefart dead he woke up. He had been dead for three days and then rose up in a mortuary just as a undertaker was about to cremate him. But the amazing thing that is…
College Students: You’d Be Better Off Getting Bums Off The Street To Educate You Rather Than Paying Outrageous Tuition We here at the MCT can’t understand why students aren’t rioting in the streets over the outrageous tuition costs. Some students are getting smart, quiting college and hiring winos and homeless bums for tutors who offer…
Been there! Done it! & Zoingzoing didn’t waste billions [like you already, Mr. Musk, Mr. Bezos!] just to go to a crappy nearby desert planet like Mars. Blast off reading about Zoingzoing’s galactic travels with a spaceship powered with shit! You’ll discover the only thing Zoingzoing has in common with other Sci-fi & the space billionaires…
Dog Breaking News! Now think of this. I am a hairy guy. I will be coming to live at your house. I won’t ever use the bathroom except to drink out of the toilet. I’ll get my hair all over and smell bad. But the worst thing about my stay at your house is that…
A new virus is sweeping the nation and thousands of people have been infected. This virus does not make people sick, but the virus makes people believe they are orthodox Jewish rabbis. Justervod Elsap was a normal guy who watched football, drank beer and worked in a hardware store in Chicago. Last Tuesday he woke…
“The Person who does not read is at the same disadvantage as someone who cannot read.” –Mark Twain MCT is on a literacy campaign. Don’t be an ignorant illiterate who only looks at the pictures and scans the headlines. Read a whole article!
Osama Bin Laden Signs Multi Million Dollar Endorsement Deal With Nike Meltingclocktimes.com has learned that the Nike shoe company is starting a new advertising campaign with Osama Bin Laden. Through our secret sources we were able to see the new TV shot with Bin Laden. Bin Laden is crouched on a rock and says in…
Unfortunately doctors sometimes mess up. One recent medical screw up is causing a controversy. In a Hoboken, Oregon hospital surgeons mixed up a nose job patient and a sex change patient. The sex change patient ended up with a nose in-between his or her legs. The nose job patient ended up with a vagina-like creation…
